TALK ABOUT dog eat dog. Or, the things we do for love. Meet Pennsylvania pinhead Ralph Ullum. At 68, Ralph should have known better or at the very least have heard the maxim, "there's no fool like an old fool." Seems Ralphie Boy wanted to impress the old lady who had entered her Siberian husky in a suburban Chicago kennel club show. So, what's he do? Gives the competitors Protonix and Benadryl. His mouthpiece said our hero didn't do it because he didn't need to: his gal pal's dog had already won best in show. His lawyer Ed Maloney said: “Mr. Ullum denies he gave any pills to the dog. It’s a very highly competitive world. Emotions were flying high that day." Ullam is charged with misdemeanor animal cruelty and attempted criminal damage to property.
He was charged after arch-rival Pixie’s trainer found what appeared to bedrug residue near the dog after Ullum had been seen petting the animal, according to cops. An undigested pill of Protonix was discovered after a vet got her to vomit, authorities said. Goes to trial in September.