TALK ABOUT FAKING YOUR CV! BOGUS SCHEME FOILED

WE all lie a little on our CV's, a better title here, more money there, but Randall Thomas Keyser (yes that is his real name) went way over the line.
Seeking a six figure job, he pretended to be a Major in the Army and list the chief of staff as a reference. Aiming high, but Keyser then went one step further claiming to have professional relationships with current and former U.S. defense secretaries, on his application to the Akron, OH construction company federal authorities allege in documents filed in federal court.
"It's kind of outrageous," Assistant U.S. Attorney Robert Bulford told The Akron Beacon Journal. "Anybody who served our country and sees this I think will be outraged."

MACABRE MANURE PILE MYSTERY: 'THEY'RE NOT BLACK'

GARY, Indiana cops are trying to unravel the mystery of two murder victims found in a manure pile at an area horse farm. So far, all cops know is that the victims are either white or Hispanic.

Det. Michael Barnes told the Chicago Sun-Times: “We’re not sure which, but we know for sure they’re not black." One victim was wrapped in black plastic bags while the other's hands were bound.

Cops remained tight-lipped on how the men died but said they were checking missing persons reports seeking a match to the

SEATTLE COLD CASE ARREST WAS IN THE CARDS

COLD CASE playing cards were a key factor in solving the 1979 slaying of a Seattle area woman, according to cops. Gregory D. Johnson, 57, of Seattle was arrested Friday night and charged with first-degree murder in the slaying of Susan Schwarz. Her playing card was the queen of hearts.
 Detectives busted Johnson after getting a tip from a convict who read about the case on the card. Schwarz was found shot and strangled on Oct. 22, 1979 and Johnson had been a suspect for many years.
Det. Patrick VanderWeyst said: "After 31 years, we end up finding a person that was an eyewitness to the murder. The witness was basically in fear for her life if she ever came forward with information."

ANTOINE DODSON BUSTED FOR POT POSSESSION

BUSTED! The legendary Antoine Dodson whose televised rant after the attempted rape of his sister in their Alabama housing project is now on the wrong side of the law. Dawson was pinched for marijuana possession. His rant went viral and for a time, he became a minor celeb. Now it's over.

GABRIELLE GIFFORDS CAN ATTEND SHUTTLE LAUNCH

CRAZY

GIFFORDS

GUN nut Jared Loughner's primary target Gabrielle Giffords has recovered enough from being shot in the head to watch her husband blast off into space.
Mark Kelly had feared his wife wouldn't be able to watch his shuttle launch this week because doctors feared the journey to and from the launch site would be too much for her. But the Republican congresswoman has now been given permission by her neurosurgeon to wave her husband into the skies.
Kelly told CBS: "They've given us

LONG ISLAND SERIAL KILLER MURDERED A CHILD

THE SEARCH CONTINUES

SICKENED cops have discovered that one of the 10 bodies found on the remote Long Island beach was that of child.
Forensic tests showed that the body was definitely a youngster but so far cops have nothing more to go on as they continue hunting for more bodies - some of which were dismembered.
The grisly discovery adds to the confusion for detectives who are already torn between whether

FACEBOOK POSTS SINK BANK ROBBERS: COPS 'LIKE'

DUMB

DUMBER

THERE are some things that should definitely not be posted on Facebook - especially if you've just robbed a bank. But dumb thieves Estefany Danelia Martinez, 19 and boyfriend Ricky Gonzalez just couldn't help themselves.
Two days before their Texas bank heist which netted more than $62,000 Martinez didn't think twice before posting: "Get $$$" when asked what was on her mind.    
Then the day after the robbery her 18-year-old boyfriend  Ricky Gonzalez, 18: "Wipe my teeth

TWO STABBED IN MASS. BABY SHOWER BROUHAHA

DEFINITELY not the way to welcome a new baby into the world. Two people were stabbed at what the police chief calls a "a baby shower that awry," when they were supposed to be celebrating. 
Officers responding to a report of a stabbing at the Lawrence, MA found between 50 and 100 people at the apartment.
Police Chief John Romero tells the Eagle-Tribune that the stabbing was proceeded by a fight that apparently began when someone threw a bottle that struck a woman. 

PEDOPHILE PINCHED AT MONTANA EASTER EGG HUNT

HE definitely wasn't hunting what everyone else was after. 
Convicted pedophile William Harvey Suthers was busted at an Easter Egg hunt after one of his victims recognized him.  
The 67-year-old was convicted of two counts of sexual assault on a child after a girl told police he assaulted her while he was babysitting her and her brother. She was 10 at the time. Back in 1998 he was given a suspended sentence and was forbidden from having contact with anyone under the age of 18 except his sons.
Now cops in Missoula, MT and was being held in the county jail on a probation violation.