LUIS BRIONES DROVE DRUNK WHILE HAVING SEX: COPS

Luis 'The Lothario' Briones sure knows how to show a woman a good time. Cops say the 25-year-old New Mexico Casanova was driving his Ford Explorer while drunk [bad enough] and having sex with a woman at the same time. But then lusty Luis crashed the SUV near Albuquerque and his naked playmate was thrown from the vehicle. Our hero was found with one shoe on and his shorts on inside-out. His naked
nympho suffered deep cuts to her face and head, the Albuquerque Journal said.  Not in enough trouble, George Clooney of the Burger King set tried to drive away and leave his naked pal high but probably not that dry. A witness snagged his keys from the ignition as big libido Luis tried to hide behind cactus from cops. He's charged with aggravated DWI, reckless driving and evading police.

BEYONCE TERRIFIED OF CRAZED UK STALKER

Security has been beefed up for Beyoncé’s concert in England amid fears a crazed stalker could cause the singer harm, The London Sun reports.  Staff at Twickenham Stadium in suburban London have been warned to be on the lookout for fan Bassey Essien when Beyoncé headlines the Sound of Change concert this Saturday.  The Sun said the sultry superstar has been sent a series of twisted, threatening letters. The paper added that Essien has already been cautioned to stay away from the 31-year-old singer.

PALS PLOTTED W. VA. MURDER OF SKYLAR NEESE

KILLER RACHEL SHOAF

MURDERED SKYLAR NEESE

They were supposed to be Skylar Neese's friends but in a bizarre murder that has stunned the small West Virginia town they called, a sinister plot has unraveled. For nearly nine months people around Star City saw the ubiquitous posters of the missing honors student. 
Skylar vanished July 6, 2012, when she sneaked out of her bedroom window. Surveillance video

BK BANDITS BUSTED. EMPLOYEE STOLE GETAWAY CAR

FOILED

A DASTARDLY pair of ham-burglars were left in a pickle, when a restaurant employee foiled their attempted robbery by sneaking out the back and taking their getaway car. 

Cops were easily able to ketchup with the pair, who ran into the Burger King in Stockton, CA brandashing guns and demanding cash. 

But as the two men were inside robbing the restaurant, another cashier snuck out the back where he noticed the suspects getaway car with the engine still running. 

Driving it away, he hid it round the corner and called the cops. 

Officers told CBS Sacramento that suspects Gabriel Gonzalez and Jeremy Lovitt panicked when they ran out and couldn't find the vehicle and ran into a nearby field.