BUMBLING BURGLARS LEAVE A CLUE - OR 100

GENIUS

BRAINS

THEY might as well have mailed Cops their confessions, with the amount of clues they left behind.  

Because criminal masterminds these two, most certainly 'aint. 

Breaking into an Ocala, FL restaurant with his pal Gabriel Stouffer he immediately set off the alarm. 

Responding officers arrived to find a 42-inch TV sitting against the wall but no suspects to speak of. 

A quick scan of the parking lot and they found a 2003 Dodge pickup, the hood still warm, belonging to - you've guessed it - Anthony Varnum. 

If he wanted to make it anymore clear for them, he dropped his wallet on the ground nearby.

WELL THAT'S ONE PLACE TO HIDE IT.....

CLASSY

COPS have busted a woman with more than 100 items including 54 bags of heroin and some loose change- in her vagina???
Karin Mackaliunas was caught at the scene of a car crash she'd been involved in near Scranton, PA.  
Officers in nearby Dunmore suspected she may have been involved in a robbery and asked them to detain her for questioning.
During a rountine search of her coat, they found three bags of the deadly drug in her coat pocket.
But when they were taking her back to the station they noticed her fidgeting.  
After a struggle Mackaliunas, 27, asked to speak with another officer, whom she told she had "hidden

LINDSAY LOHAN'S PA BUSTED IN DOMESTIC BRAWL

THE APPLE doesn't fall far from the Lohan family tree. Not to be outdone by his daughter Lindsay Lohan, jailbird dad Michael, 50, has now been arrested over allegations he held his gal pal against her will and stopped her from calling for help. Lohan was booked by LA County Sheriffs on suspicion of  preventing report of victimization, false imprisonment and inflicting corporal injury on a cohabitant. The girlfriend's name was not released. Lohan has a history of being a dick with his girlfriends, usually harassment. Lindsay Lohan is apparently estranged from her father while uber-tanned Dina acts as enabler in chief. And while the

BRAWLING BRIDE BUSTED AT OWN WEDDING

NOT EXACTLY AS SHOWN

THE bride wore white, the cops wore blue. Poor Angela Davito. Her big day was ruined when she became disorderly at her own wedding.
According to cops, our Ange (she won't beat us up if we call her that we hope) officers responded to some kind of trouble at a home in suburban Phoenix. They were cryptically told: "people in the backyard are killing each other." And that's what cops found.
Even after they ordered the donnybrook to be discontinued folks kept on sluggin'. That's when they became aggressive towards police.
So, call more cops... and firefighters. Then, after things calmed down a bit Davito exploded and charged another party goer.
She kicked a cop. Was arrested on assault and obstructing government operations.
As for carrying the bride over the threshold? Only if it led to a jail cell.

TOP SHRINK: EGOTISTICAL NH KILLER NOT INSANE

GOING PLACES

A TOP forensic psychiatrist told a New Hampshire court that the accused killer suspected in a bloody home invasion considers himself a master criminal. Christopher Gribble, 21, has admitted his role in the brutal October 2009 slaying of single mom Kimberly Cates and the maiming of her daughter Jaimie, 11, but says he's insane. However, Dr. Albert Drukteinas says Gribble does not suffer from delusions or an inability to control his behavior.
He spent nearly eight hours interviewing Gribble--the self-described 'Angel of Death'-- in February and found the accused killer had an outrageous sense of his abilities and potential. He described the

LULULEMON YOGA MURDER SUSPECT 'LOOKED WILD'

MURDERED

MURDER 1

THE SHOCKING murder of a Lululemon yoga wear employee was deliberately covered up, according to cops. Detectives say that Brittany Erin Norwood, 28, lied when she said she was a victim of the same robbery in Bethesda, Maryland that left Jayna Murray, 30, dead. Norwood is now charged with first-degree murder and is being held in the Montgomery County Detention Center.
On the morning of March 12, cops responded to a call at the yoga store after an employee who opened saw hints of a massacre. Officers found Murray dead while Norwood was "lying on the bathroom  floor with hands tied above her head and her feet were bound," according to charging

SHE POURED BOILING LIQUID OVER NEIGHBOR'S HEAD

DINNER? No? Okay, here's a pot of boiling water over your head instead. Lovely Lynn Baggett, 51, of Chicago had offered to make her elderly 74-year-old wheelchair bound neighbor dinner.
She heated a five-gallon pot of water and some other substance. And when the water came to a boil? Baggett took the pot off the element and then poured the boiling liquid over the senior's head.
As a result, the pensioner suffered burns on her face, forehead, scalp, neck, back and shoulders. Prosecutors said the woman suffered second-degree burn and is in serious condition.
There did not seem to be a motive and Baggett is being held on $50,000 bond. Detectives are still investigating.

TACO HELL: GUN FIGHT OVER 50 CENT PRICE HIKE

A BARMY burrito lover is behind bars after a gun fight with cops which started when he found out the price of his favorite Mexican treats had gone up by 50c.
Enraged that Taco Bells Beefy Crunch Burrito had gone up to $1.49, he pulled out a pistol and pointed it at his server in the San Antonio TX restaurant.
Brian Tillerson, a manager at the Taco Bell/KFC restaurant, told the San Antonio Express-News: "They did use to be 99 cents, but that was just a promotion."
"He pointed a gun at me, and he fired it. I leaned to the side and there was a pop but nothing happened."
 The suspect, whose name has not been released, only had an air gun at that

WIFE DISCOVERS HUBBY'S OTHER WIFE ON FACEBOOK

THE MARRYING KIND

A PHILANDERING husband whose wife found his wedding photos with another woman on Facebook is facing a polygamy charge.
Love cheat Richard Barton married his first wife in 2004, after a whirlwind online romance, which saw him move to Rhode Island to set up home.
Six years on, in July last year, he married his second wife in Grand Rapids, MI, apparently forgetting that he already married.
Of course pictures of his second big day appear on Facebook, much to the surprise of wife number one, who although estranged from Barton, had definitely not signed divorce papers.
"I let love get in the way," he told the Grand Rapids Press outside his friend's home, where he was staying - presumably because both women kicked him out.

BRIT GUILTY IN BRUTAL DRUG-FUELLED BEHEADING

VICTIMS

KILLER

A CRAZY Brit who stabbed a woman to death and beheaded her boyfriend in a brutal drug fueled killing has been found guilty of murder.  
Neil Revill, 38, smashed his way into LA drug dealer Arthur Davodian's condo and stabbed him 17 times, before decapitating him with a butchers precision, while he may have been still alive.
Davodian's girlfriend Kimberle Crayton - the niece of singer Al

DUI SUSPECT NABBED AFTER MOANING TO COPS

BOOZEHOUND

A BOOZED up woman was busted for drunk driving after she complained to cops about how they parked their cars - when they were investigating a you've guessed it a DUI related crash.
Katherine Morse thought it would be a good idea to get out of the car and have a word with officers after they parked their cruisers across the road to stop a suspected drunk driver from leaving the scene. 
Denver Officers told Morse to return to her car and she came "belligerent with them, telling them it was a stupid place" for a traffic stop.
That's when officers realized "she too was drunk."
Officers say she failed a roadside sobriety test, but she refused to take a breathalyser test.
She was charged with obstruction and driving under the influence and taken to Jefferson County Jail,  but she was later released.

POSSIBLY THE WORLD'S DUMBEST CRIMINAL

THE only good thing about Robert Nelson is that he will be spending more time behind bars, because frankly if he was outside he'd be dangerous.
His latest caper was so dumb even experienced Cops shook their heads at the magnitude of his stupidity.
On a serious note, Nelson was already serving a 15-year term for sexually assaulting a young girl back in 2004.
So in a bid to get cleared he approaches another prisoner to injure the girl's mother.
Of course, he approached an Italian American, because he thought the man would have "juice" because of his ethnic background.
The inmate then introduced him to an "associate" called Carmine who would be willing to do the deed for a price.
Of course, "Carmine" turned out to be an undercover police officer.
During meetings in jail Nelson offered to pay Carmine $300 from