MUGSHOT MANIA! 'I'LL TAKE IRONY FOR $200 ALEX'

HALLOWEEN season is in full bloom and it's pretty obvious this man is NOT an escapee from a 1930s Warner Bros. gangster pic. Bad costume. Bad luck. Delicious irony.

AMANDA KNOX DUMPED BY KINKY ITALIAN CASSANOVA

AMANDA KNOX'S Italian boyfriend has pulled the pin on his cross-cultural playmate. According to the National Enquirer, the 24-year-old kinky sex fan is devastated his family put the kibosh on the relationship. Sources told the iconic tabloid that knife enthusiast Raffaele's dad wants him to start a new

MUGSHOT MANIA! IT WAS A HALLOWEEN BASH, RIGHT?

WE HOPE that buddy was just caught unawares as he yucked it up at a Halloween bash that came off the rails. But, maybe not. Either way: he's a sight.

ALIAYAH LUNSFORD PROBE: FBI HITS BRICK WALL

WHERE is Aliayah Lunsford? A month has passed since the 3-year-old girl vanished from her West Virginia home and cops seem no closer to making an arrest in the case. She was last seen Sept. 24. Now, the FBI says there are few clues in the case but grimly say there is little hope the happy go lucky child is still alive. Family friend Teresa Hathaway said she does not regret the hours she has volunteered hunting for the child. She said: "I'm a grandmother and she's the same age as two of my grandchildren and your heart just kind of melts, especially when it's a small child. It kind of takes over from there."
Still, she's confident the feds will make an arrest in the sickening case. "They know what they're doing."
MORE ON ALIAYAH LUNSFORD

ADOLF HITLER'S IDIOT PARENTS DISPUTE CUSTODY CASE

ADOLF, ARYAN NATION & HONSZLYNN

THE IDIOT parents who named their children "Adolf Hitler" and "Aryan Nation" have lost custody of all three of their children. 
Heath and Deborah Campbell were busted last year after a local store refused to decorate a birthday cake for their son Adolf Hitler Campbell.  
Since then the three-year-old has been in foster care along with his siblings JoyceLynn Aryan Nation and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie. 
Heath and Deborah are however claiming that they lost custody in a New Jersey appeals court found no

LAZY TEACH JENNIFER GOMES POSTS BOMB THREAT

LAZY

SHE really didn't want to take classes - so much so that Jennifer Gomes has now been accused of making a bomb threat to her school. 
Cops say the 42-year-old gym teacher, who taught one day a week at the private Escuela de Guadalupe school in Denver posted a note saying: "There's a bomb inside." 
As a result officers had to sweep the premises before pupils were allowed back into their classes. 
Needless to say the none too bright teacher was quickly picked up by cops and she told told them that she didn't want to go to work on Monday.  
Prosecutors said Gomes confessed to writing the note.
David Card, president of Escuela de Guadalupe, said: "The safety and well-being of our kids is our top priority and we are confident that we are providing this type of environment at Escuela right now.

CHEATING KEVIN GAYLOR CALLS COPS ON DATE

CHEATER

A CHEATING boyfriend called the cops on his internet lover after his girlfriend arrived home early.
Two-timing Kevin Gaylor, 24, dialed 911 in a desperate bid to convince his missus that the "other woman" he'd picked up on Craigslist was a burglar and not his date.
He told cops that "she was wielding a gun."
Cops said he had arranged to meet his "date" at his Colorado Springs home at around 3am on Wednesday morning.
But his plan met a hitch when his girlfriend unexpectedly arrived home, cops told The Gazette.

TWIN MOM LINDSEY LOWE'S FIANCE NOT THE FATHER

CHEAT

THE MONSTER mom accused of smothering her newborn twins to death and trying to flush them down the toilet had cheated on her fiance a court heard yesterday. 
DNA tests revealed that Lindsey Lowe's betrothed, Jonathan Brooks was not the father of the tragic babies. 
Hendersonville Police Detective Steve Malach told how she had told him of the affair that occurred in December and early January, when he originally questioned her about the killings. 
He told the court: "I asked if it was possible anybody else was the father, and she told he she had cheated on her fiancé with another guy, Jeremy Smith." 
She told the investigator that that she hadn't admitted her infidelity or told her fiance about her cheating because she hadn't wanted to "disappoint him and because she didn't want to add to the stress of a family member's illness.

FLASHER BRODY HALL KNOCKED ON POLICE CHIEF'S DOOR

SCARY

HE REALLY picked the wrong neighbor's door to knock on.
Drunken flasher Brody Hall was completely exposed when he banged on Rich Shopene's door at around 6:15am and told him he was there "to scare the children."
Apparently he justified this by saying: "I saw you had Halloween decorations up." 
Trouble was that Rich is in fact the interim police chief and needless to say he wasn't to happy, especially after Hall tried to push past him and get into his Corry, PA home.
"I'm going to stab you and your family," Hall then allegedly yelled, according to the police chief.