COUPLE BEATS CHRIS VALDEZ TO DEATH ON 4th BDAY

MEET the worst people in the world: Nov. 28, 2011 edition. They are Cesar 'Big Man' Ruiz, 34, and his girlfriend Crystal Valdez, 28. Valdez and co. were getting ready to celebrate the fourth birthday of her son Christopher on Friday in Chicago. On Sunday, the twisted pair were charged with first-degree murder, concealment of a homicide and child endangerment. Christopher was beaten to death at the family home, his body discovered by his grandparents who had arrived with birthday cake and presents for his birthday bash. He died from multiple blunt force injuries

FROSTY THE SNOWMAN ARRESTED FOR BRAWLING

WALSH

FROSTY

HE DEFINITELY wasn't a jolly, happy soul and when he came to life one day, all he did was get into a brawl. 
Yes Frosty the Snowman or Kevin Michael Walsh as he's more commonly known was busted for scuffling with police and kicking a police dog during the annual Christmas parade in Chestertown, MD. 
Sgt. John A. Dolgos told the Star Democrat that the 52-year-old who has apparently played the beloved snowman for 10-years in the parade, became agitated when a dog handling officer tried to escort him away from the crowd.
One astonished onlooker said: "It was just so funny.

ROBYN GARDNER MYSTERY: WAS SHE IN ON $CAM?

FOR nearly four months the fate of pretty blonde Maryland party girl Robyn Gardner has been a mystery. The narrative is that she went on a swinging sex trip with boyfriend Gary Giordano to Aruba then on Aug. 2, vanishes on a diving trip, according to Creepy Gary. Cops look hard at Giordano: he took out a whopping $1.5 million insurance policy on the former dental assistant before the trip, had money troubles, and oh, there's those raunchy pix of Robyn that the anything goes Dutch are describing as "beyond pornographic." Giordano had been held on suspicion of killing the

'SMURFS' MADE SARAH BOUSHEY DRIVE DRUNK

SHE was so wasted that she was seeing little blue men and couldn't remember her own name. 
This was after she'd smashed her car up. 
But then Sarah Boushey, came up with a novel excuse for her horrific drunk driving - she'd been watching "The Smurfs" movie with her daughter. 
Worse still, it was her four-year-old who filled in the blanks - like her name - bluntly telling cops: "she's drunk."   
San Francisco cops found the incoherent 42-year-old had a blood alcohol limit of more than three times the legal limit, which probably had something to do with the half-empty bottle of vodka in her purse. 

MUGSHOT MANIA! WE REALLY LIKE HER STYLE AND PLUCK

OK, so she's a bad girl. What do you want us to do? She has nice eyes and a winning smile. One of out colleagues is even hinting at a 'My Fair Lady' type scenario.

JOEL SIMPSON JAILED FOR CALI CANINE CARNAL CAPERS

TOP DOG

HOT DOG

A PALM SPRINGS man's confessed canine carnal capers has given cops paws. Joel Bradley Simpson, 36, pleaded guilty to child porn and bestiality charges and will now spend the next 16 months in the pound. He also pleaded guilty to possession of a controlled substance--our old favorite, crystal meth. Simpson, AKA "Hound Dog" got 213 days on the dope beef. He was arrested last June after a snitch fingered him to cops on a kiddie porn beef. But wait, that's not all. A search warrant turned up some home movies starring Simpson and man's really

CRAIGSLIST KILLER RICHARD BEASLEY'S 'HEART OF GOLD'

THE SUSPECTED mastermind behind the Ohio Craigslist slaughter has a "caring heart" and was even a mentor to the teenager busted with him in connection to three grisly homicides. Richard 'Dick' Beasley, 52, a volunteer chaplain was arrested Nov. 16 with Brogan Rafferty, 16, for luring victims to their demise via job ads on Craigslist. The doomed men were told to bring all of their belongings because they would also be living on the farm. There never was any such farm. For Beasley's mom, well, it's all too much.

PLUS: CRAIGSLIST KILLER RAFFERTY'S VICS ID'D

THE TWISTED Craigslist killers who lured their victim's with the promise of work before shooting have had their victims identified.
Timothy Kern had told family that someone had made him a "good offer, but strange" after getting he responded to the post on the popular advertising