SUMMER MUGSHOT MADNESS! AN EMO BAD GIRL

WOW! What's the deal with the hair? It seems lately that in a lot of mugshots featuring women, there always seems to be something with their hair. Shocking dye jobs welcome.

SUMMER MUGSHOT MADNESS: GETTIN' BUSTED IS A GAS

SUMMER, you ask? Why yes, officially summer is the flavor of the season until at least Sept. 21. We know all the rules re. Labor Day but maybe we'll get a shimmering Indian Summer. In the meantime, getting busted appears to be a LOT of fun.

SUMMER MUGSHOT MADNESS! HE'S LOOKIN' GOOD

WHAT DID his mom say when she showed up at Thanksgiving? If she's like our mom, she started crying and then was mostly silent the rest of the visit. It's Cute Tattoo Week!

SUMMER MUGSHOT MADNESS! REALLY THAT STUPID

IT'S UNBELIEVABLE. Why in hell would anyone get a tattoo for a radio station on the forehead? There's really no answer but on Cute Tattoo Week definitely worth pondering.

SUMMER MUGSHOT MADNESS! AN OFFER TO REFUSE

MOM DIDN'T have a tattoo that said 'Taste the Rainbow' connecting her two breasts but we've moved beyond her 1950s mindset, haven't we. This liberated lady appears to have taken control of her own sexuality on Cute Tattoo Week.

SUMMER MUGSHOT MADNESS! CAMERA CLUB PREZ

CUTE TATTOO WEEK. Day 2. Lance had such promise. Involved in the whole school community but best known for his nutty hijinks in the Camera Club, everyone was stunned when he got his 'Ruled By Hatred' tattoo but Mr. Harrison in guidance just laughed.

SUMMER MUGSHOT MADNESS: OLD FOGEY WEEK #6

WELL, summer is fast fading and I'm sure we could find about wistful 100 songs from the great American musical canon to mark it's end. But we'll leave you with happy thoughts at the end of Old Fogey Week. Just party.

SUMMER MUGSHOT MADNESS: OLD FOGEY WEEK #5

ARRGH! YA' caught me, damn your eyes! Basil St. John from Brenda Starr Reporter went to the dark side and is now a pirate. Still, we wouldn't screw around with this old crook.

SUMMER MUGSHOT MADNESS! OLD FOGEY WEEK #4

JUST TO make sure everyone knows where Crime Scene USA stands on things, we are not ageist and we believe that Charlie Sheen's wise, wise maxim of "Winning" is not just for the young. So there.

SUMMER MUGSHOT MADNESS: GARY COLEMAN LIVES

IT HAS been revealed that pint-sized TV star Gary Coleman didn't die after all. No, he's no living in Muskogee, Oklahoma where he runs a variety store but got in trouble for selling smokes to under-agers. Nah, it's really just Old Fogey Week at Mugshot Madness.

SUMMER MUGSHOT MADNESS! OLD FOGEY WEEK #2

TEA AND cookies, sweetie? AARP are now lobbying against the discrimination against old crooks. This old doll ('you'll never take me alive copper!') is proof positive is not just a crime for the young.

SUMMER MUGSHOT MADNESS! IT'S OLD FOGEY WEEK

DID I scare ya? We admit it: we find elderly criminals pretty hilarious for all kinds of reasons. Of course, many still think they're James Cagney or a tough talkin' broad. Then others, like our friend above, look just plain crazy.

SUMMER MUGSHOT MADNESS! DOIN' THE TIMEWARP!

THAT'S quite the look mister! Our spies tell us that dude was nabbed for something or other while awaiting a casting call for the Peoria Playhouse's big production of Rocky Horror Picture Show.

SUMMER MUGSHOT MADNESS! DOUBLE HIT 'O HEADS

THESE ARE the Days of Our Lives. No, actually it's just a couple of brutal heads in trouble with the law. What better way to kick off a summer Saturday, huh?

SUMMER MUGSHOT MADNESS! GREAT IDEA, STUPID...

DID HE ask friends? Family? Or are they all as retarded as the crook in the picture? Did someone say, 'hey, that's a great idea! It will look wicked cool...' Sorry, we just can't see it. Really hard to believe he's doing his PhD. in physics at MIT.

SUMMER MUGSHOT MADNESS! TAYLOR MOMSEN'S SIS

AGAIN, WE jest. But the eye make-up seems to be right for this comparison. But who's the real deal? The trampy looking crook, above, or the teen poseur? We like the tart above!

SUMMER MUGSHOT MADNESS! SEAL REFLECTS ON HEIDI

IT TOOK us a few minutes to realize this wasn't a somewhat rough around the edges photo of Seal. Rather, this jolly felon seems to be channeling the famous one-hit wonder. Heidi Klum is not in sight.

SUMMER MUGSHOT MADNESS! CHESS CLUB PREZ...

OH, he had so much promise. Chess club. Debating Society. Prom queen. Offers from Harvard and Yale. Now look at him. Things could have turned out much differently...

SUMMER MUGSHOT MADNESS! MUNSTERS STAR NABBED

JUST KIDDING! But this fella DOES bear a remarkable resemblance to Munsters star Butch Patrick. Note the hair. Unfortunately, last week our Pretty Perps were overshadowed by the sizzling Lee Grace Dougherty--soon to be bound for prison for a long, long time.

SUMMER MUGSHOT MADNESS! PRETTY PERPS: DAY 6

SHE IS just lovely. We're not really sure what she did but we would most definitely cut her some slack. Well, today marks the end of our Summer Mugshot Madness Pretty Perps series. Back to brutal heads on Monday.