MUGSHOT MANIA: MARTY FELDMAN ALIVE AND WELL

One of the world's great mysteries has finally been unraveled: Famed Brit comedian really DIDN'T die of a heart attack while filming Yellowbeard in Mexico in 1982. He's been in Texas all along.

DEADBEAT DAD ORLANDO SHAW HAS 22 KIDS; 14 WOMEN

"CAN'T KNOCK A MAN FOR LOVING WOMEN"

Few play the game jewels in the crown better than America's biggest deadbeat dad, Orlando "You Turn Me on Baby" Shaw. The walking, talking sperm bank has a staggering 22 children by 14 different women and has now been dragged into a Tennessee court for unpaid child support. What? You have to pay, care and nurture them? Damn straight my ejaculating friend. The 33-year-old even said he'd lost count of how many kids he has and by how many mothers. Taking a guess, the condom-hating horndog thought "roughly" 18 kids with 17 women.

ARIEL CASTRO VICTIMS: $800,000 DONATED SO FAR

$800,000

GENEROUS donors have given more than $800,000 to the victims of the Cleveland horror house, who were allegedly subjected to a decade of sexual terror by Ariel Castro.

Horrified at the abuse Amanda Berry, Gina De Jesus and Michelle Knight are said to have suffered, people from all over the World have sent in cash to help them readjust to day to day life. 

Cops say, Castro, snatched the women, all of whom were in their late teens and early 20s from the streets near his rundown home. 

Chaining them in his basement, he allegedly used them as his personal sex slaves, beating them if they refused to comply to his wicked demands. 

His first victim, Michelle Knight,  told officers that he not only beat and starved her, but also forced her into five miscarriages.

OHIO FAMILY TRIED TO HACK OFF LOVE RIVAL'S FINGERS

HEARTACHE

FAT GERRY

A spurned young woman, her obese dad and her chess-playing boyfriend lured a love rival to the family trailer home and then tried to cut off her fingers with pruning shears.

Cops say Shena Moore, 24, invited the victim --and artist-- to the home in Mason, Ohio after learning her boyfriend, John "Game, Set, Match" Gulley, 31, had been sexting the woman. The artist, 27, agreed to discuss the pair's falling out on May 5.

When got there, Moore's father, 450-lb. Gerald "Fat Gerry" Moore Jr., 49, hit the victim with his cane while Shena began punching her. The twisted trio then pinned the terrified woman to the ground and

VIDEO: FLORIDA TALENT SHOW MOMS IN BITTER BRAWL

Two Florida moms showed their kids the true meaning of sportsmanship and competition -- they hit smashed, hit and choked each other at a talent show. And it was the maniacal moms who stole the show. A video [above] shows the gruesome twosome slugging it out. The good news was that the hundreds of kids present at Lakeview Elementary School thought it was funny.

MOM CHERYL TCHIDA: OK'D DWARF DAUGHTER'S RAPE

WORST

A TWISTED mom who allowed her mentally ill daughter to be prostituted, raped and impregnated had the nerve to ask about regaining custody.
"That would be the worst thing that could happen," a judge told Cheryl Tchida after listening to what  her teenage daughter with the mental capacity of a five-year-old, who also suffers from dwarfism had been through .
It emerged that Tchida thought it would be fine to leave 19-year-old, who has an IQ of just 45, at a St Paul, Minn, motel with a 17-year-old "friend" who she'd met days earlier at a fast food restaurant.
It was the start of a nightmare for the unsupervised youngster who can't even tell time, read or care for herself.
Along with her "friend" were five other men, including the boys uncle,

MUGSHOT MANIA: SHE THEN SANG SEND IN THE CLOWNS

Everyone was moved to tears by this talented bad girl's heartfelt rendition of Send in the Clowns. But as she was locked away in the county jail, like Judy Collins, she found they were already there.

CLAY WALLER: I MURDERED MY WIFE JACQUE WALLER

Clay Waller is set to confess he brutally murdered his estranged wife Jacque Waller, his lawyer has said. The mom of triplets went missing two years ago -- the day the pair met with a divorce lawyer. Cape Girardeau public defender Christopher Davis told The Associated Press that her husband Clay will admit he murdered

'POLITE BANDIT' ROBERT RAYMOND BUSTED

'GOOD MANNERS'

HE CALLED himself the "Polite Bandit" but he'll need a lot more than good manners where he's likely to end up.
Cops say 67-year-old Robert Raymond walked into the First Niagara Bank in Hamden, Conn and handed the teller a note.
"This is what I want you to do," it read, referencing a bank robbery.
It went on to say that he had a controlled bomb which could be activated by a cell phone in his pocket, which he would detonate if the teller activated the alarms.
"Please give me all the money you can," he continued, signed, "the polite bandit."
The teller handed him the cash there was a dye pack in it, which would explode the moment it was opened, covering him in paint.

CALL OF DUTY STATUE PROVOKES LAPD STAND OFF

STORMING

STATUE

ARRIVING at scene they spotted the camouflaged man holding an assault rifle and immediately put the place in lockdown.
Gearing up they pulled out their weapons and stormed the building, surrounding the man and demanding the he put down his gun.

NAKED PROPOSAL SHOCK! THOMAS EDWARDS TASERED

SHOCKING

SHOCKING might be the best way to describe Thomas Edwards' attempted marriage proposal.
Because the naked 22-year-old ended up being tasered by cops after arriving at the wrong house in the middle of the night and terrifying the actual home owners.
Edwards told cops his girlfriend had instructed him to ask for her hand in the buff.
So at around 3:30am he arrived at what he thought was her Orlando, FL, home and began to take his clothes off.
Needless to say the actual homeowner was somewhat perturbed and immediately called the cops.
"Can you see what he's doing now," the dispatcher asks at one point.
"Er he's kind of walking around and taking his pants off," the confused caller reveals.
The Orlando Sentinel have the full call here. 
When officers arrived they found Edwards, who told them his name was Zim, and they told him to get dressed.

PAROLE FOR YOUNGEST CHARLES MANSON MURDERER?

RELEASE?

CULT

THE YOUNGEST Charles Manson follower to take part in his ritualistic group killings is up for parole again today.
Leslie Van Houten was just 19-years-old when like so many others she fell under the spell of the evil cult killer.
She did not take part in the famous killings of director Roman Polanski's wife, Sharon Tate, celebrity hairdresser Jay Sebring, coffee heiress Abigail Folger, filmmaker Voityck Frykowksi and Steven Parent, a friend of the Tate estate's caretaker.
But in their second slaying of wealthy grocer Leno and Rosemary LaBianca, she admitted to stabbing Rosemary's body after she was dead.  

TWISTED TYRONE BROWN PEED ON ER PATIENT

HARLEM HOSPITAL

A TWISTED pervert sexually assaulted and peed on a woman after she fell asleep in a hospital emergency room, cops say.
Deranged Tyrone Brown's 45-year-old victim, who we are not naming because of the crime's sexual nature, had dozed off because of the strong painkillers, which doctors had given her for a foot injury.
The victim's niece told the Daily News: "She woke up and he was over her rubbing his penis on her mouth."
When she jumped up to get away he began to urinate on her.
"She felt a hot splash," the niece added.

WHITEY BULGER: LAST BIG MOB TRIAL IN AMERICA

 It will likely be the last great mob trial in America. Why? Because none of the big guns are left. Gotti? Gone. Gigante? Gone. The remainders are mere pikers. This is something special. As jury selection gets underway for the massive James 'Whitey' Bulger trial in Boston, legal experts say that the master criminal's defence team will be looking for people with street smarts, a disdain for authority and God-willing, reside in his home base of South Boston.  The prosecution, on the other hand, will

PORN KING MR MARCUS JAILED FOR SPREADING STD

"DISTRESSED"

JAIL

A PORN Hall of Famer who carried on making movies despite knowing he had syphilis has been jailed for 30-days.
Mr Marcus - who's real name is Jesse Spencer - infected at least two more actors, including Heather DeAngelo who appeared in videos under the name Lylith LaVey.
She is now suing him for emotional distress.
The LA City Attorney's office said he got a penicillin shot on July 13, last year, after testing positive for syphilis.
But when he again tested positive eight days later, rather than come clean, he altered the photocopy of his mandatory medical test, that all porn actors are required to take.
Showing producers the doctored documents, he went on to make two more videos. It forced the industry to shut down for just over a month while all the other performers got tested.