Slippery thief makes off with 18 tons of Crisco

He must love french fries or something, but one slippery thief made of with 18 tons of Crisco, Florida cops said.
St. Petersburgh police said that the oily robber snatched the tractor trailer containing the vegetable oil that can be used for frying or making baked good.
It had been destined for a distribution center before the crook made off with it, investigators said.
Quite what they intend to do with the 36,000 pounds of oil remains to be seen.

GEEZER BANDIT STRIKES AGAIN: LOSES DAY PLANNER

HE MIGHT be old, but that hasn't stopped the elderly bank robber dubbed the "geezer bandit" from needing a calender. Quite how the brazen thief, wanted in more than six heists will know which financial institution to rob next is unclear.
But investigators are now forensically examining a day planner that the thief dropped on their last job at a Bank of America in San Luis Obispo, CA.
During the robbery, a teller placed some cash and red dye in a bag, which the suspect placed in his day planner before running off.
Capt. Chris Staley of the San Luis Obispo police told CBS LA: "I think the shock of the dye pack actually exploding in the bag created a diversion enough for him to obviously drop both the money and the other items that he was carrying.

CATY & JACK PARKER'S WEDDING RINGS STOLEN

HAPPY/UNHAPPY COUPLE

THIEF

A CREEP thief snuck into a church and stole a couples wedding clothes and jewelry on the night before their big day. 
Caty and Jack Parker had been rehearsing the ceremony in the Trinity Lutheran Church in Des Moines, WA when the thin, female burglar struck. 
When they returned to their dressing room they found the bride’s bag, shoes and jewellery and the groom’s wedding ring were missing.
It contained Caty’s family heirloom jewellery was gone – but luckily her wedding dress had not been taken.

LOHAN FACING JAIL AGAIN.... MICHAEL THIS TIME

CLASSY GUY

LIKE FATHER...

THE IDIOT dad of former actress Lindsay Lohan has been banned from ever contacting his ex-girlfriend again. 

Michael Lohan, allegedly smashed his girlfriend and so called journalist, Kate Major during a violent argument late last month. 

She claimed to cops that he pushed and shoved her because she refused to perform oral sex on him. 

But after being told by a judge not to even "dream" about her, he called her. 

She immediately called the cops, who were in Major's apartment when he called back later and she put him on speakerphone. 

MOSS MAN GREGORY LIASCO GOES INTO HIDING AGAIN

MOSS MAN

A MYSTERIOUS museum thief dubbed 'Moss Man' because of his full body camouflage suit has gone into hiding and failed to show up at court. 
Gregory Liasco, 36, was busted outside Portland's Rice Northwest Museum of Rocks and Minerals, where he'd cut a hole in the outer wall and was trying to break in. 
His disguise was so good that officers initially wondered why a police dog was biting the ground before they realised it was Liasco in his suit, looking like a mound of moss. 
It's thought he may have been after some of the precious stones held in the museum, but he claimed the whole thing was a mix up and it was a Halloween costume that his kids had given him. 
But if his in costume again, he might be hard for officers to find again, as a warrant has been issued for his arrest, as he failed to show up for trial. 
Although of course, he could have been there all along, but blending into his surroundings. 

I GOT YA: IPHONE APP BUSTS PICKPOCKET

iGotYa

AN BRAZEN thief has been caught on an iPhone camera after he set off a crime busting photo app called iGotYa.
The light fingered pickpocket used the traditional bump and run method to lift the smartphone from the 31-year-old woman's handbag. 
But after entering the wrong passcode into the phone, he triggered the app and it took a clear picture of him and e-mailed to her.
The savvy woman, who has not been named, recognized the shaven-headed man in the picture as the one who robbed her and passed the details on to cops who released the photo.

BOXER SHORTS FALLING DOWN ID THIEF ANTONIO KLEIN

WEAR A BELT

NOT THE ACTUAL PAIR

WITH his jeans down low, he thought he was the height of fashion but this thief might think about wearing a belt in future after he was caught when a witness identified his boxer shorts. 
Antonio Kleiss, 14, was fleeing the scene after attempting to break into a pick-up truck when his pants fell down, revealing his underwear to an eyewitness. 
Donna Decker, 65, had spotted the youngster acting suspiciously inside an unlocked 1991 Dodge pick-up-truck in a Port Charlotte, FL. 

CLAY WALLER 'THREATENED TO KILL ME' PAL SAYS

KILLER?

VANISHED

MISSING mom of triplets Jacque Sue Waller's husband, Clay threatened to kill his former friend, cops say. 
Gary Hill told cops the man described by them as 'a person of interest' in his wife's disappearance has been jailed and will face court on harassment charges later this month.

JEOPARDY FOR BURGLAR CHASED ALEX TREBEK

TREBEK

IT was double jeopardy for both a hotel burglar and game show host Alex Trebek, Wednesday when the game show host chased down a burglar, but ruptured his Achilles tendon in the process. 
The 71-year-old, who has presented 'Jeopardy' for over 25-years said he and his wife were sleeping when the thief broke into his San Francisco room and made off with cash, a bracelet and other valuables.   
Later as he hosted the National Geographic World Championship at Google headquarters in Mountain View he told the crowd: "At 2:30 yesterday morning, chasing a burglar down the hall. My Achilles tendon ruptured and I fell in an ignominious heap to the carpeting, bruising my other leg in the process."
San Francisco police Lt. Troy Dangerfield says 56-year-old old Lucinda Moyers was caught by a security guard at the hotel and arrested on suspicion of felony burglary and receiving stolen property.

IDIOT TRAVIS WARD STOLE AMBULANCE AT FIRE SCENE

DUMMY

DEFINITELY one for the "Dear Stupid" file. 
This is dumbass Travis Ward who tried to steal an ambulance which parked outside the scene of a raging house fire. 
The 28-year-old idiot, told cops he was unsuprisingly high on pot at the time, when he spotted the unsupervised vehicle, which had been left running to keep it cool for anyone seeking help. 
So the idiot decided to take it. 
He got a whole two blocks, smashing into powers poles and walls during his joyride, before eventually coming to a halt.
Fortunately the ambulance wasn't needed during the blaze which started around 4am on Sunday morning at a house in Phoenix, AZ.   
Homeowner Edward Huth told KSAZ: "I heard a pop, crack in the back of the house. Some gentleman come and bang on the door said, "Get out. Get out. You’re on fire."

NO ESCAPE FOR RONALD TACKMAN THIS TIME

HOUDINI

A MASTER of disguise who used fake noses and a carved soap gun to pull off robberies and once infamously walked out of a court after convincing prison officers he was a defense attorney, could not escape justice this time.
Houdini like thief, Ronald Tackman, 57, used all sorts of ploys including dressing up as cowboy and a cigarette lighter that looked like a gun to carry out numerous heists in New York.
Then when he was due to stand trial in 2009, wearing a three piece suit and simply strolled out of the building after convincing prison officers he was a defense attorney.
He pulled black socks over his prison issue canvas shoes to help his charade.      

LINDSAY LOHAN 'ENJOYED' HOUSE ARREST

ENJOYED HERSELF

FORMER actress Lindsay Lohan "enjoyed" being under house arrest because it kept her out of the public eye she said. The troubled party girl, who has astonishingly managed to keep her hands clean since her release said she was grateful as her cushy sentence gave her a chance to stay out of the limelight.
She spent a massive 35 days confined to her Santa Monica home monitored by ankle bracelet, instead of receiving jail time for stealing a $2500 necklace from an upmarket LA Jewelry store and violating the terms of her 2007 conviction for driving under the influence (DUI) last month.
Speaking of her celebrity justice she told Australia's 2DayFM radio station: "I enjoyed it, actually, as I was able to get a lot of work done from home, and it was very nice not to have to worry about cameras being outside."