CHIM-CHIM CHER-OO: RANALDO JACK GETS STUCK

DICK-VAN DYKE HE AINT

CHIM-CHIMINEY chim chim cher-oo; I see a couple of years in jail for you.
Meet Ranaldo Jack, who's clearly competing for the title of 'World's Most Ineffective Thief.'   
The 17-year-old was trying to copy Santa by sneaking down the chimney, but instead of giving, he was most definitely planning to take what he could get.
Except he never made it, because he got stuck for more than 10 hours and had to be freed by firefighters, who pulled him out with a rope.
Neighbor Laura Chaparro told the Atlanta Journal Constitution she heard someone yelling for help from her neighbor's chimney.
She said: "We were talking to him, 'What are you doing down there?' He just said, 'Ah, I'm stupid."

BIKINI LOVER ROBERT BRENNEMAN'S DAYCARE BREAK IN

WEIRDO

THERE are a number of things that are just wrong with this crime, as we reported yesterday.  Firstly the fact he decided to break into a daycare, but most obviously is the fact that he's wearing a pink girl's swimsuit.
And now we have a name: cops picked up Robert 'Odd Bob' Brenneman, 43, for the bizarre crime at the Kidscape Day Care Center in Indianapolis, IN, after tips from the public. After breaking in the weirdo was caught on camera

THIRSTY THIEF TIM SNYDER BROKE IN FOR BEER

SNYDER

A THIRSTY thief was so desperate for a beer that he burst into two apartments and stabbed a man with a corkscrew during his search for a brew. 

Tim Snyder, 36, walked into one Chicago apartment and headed straight for the fridge, but when he didn't find any booze he punched the owner, who had been roused from his sleep by the noisy entrance and left. 

Barging his way into the second unit he again struggled with the owner, before stabbing him in the back with a corkscrew the Sun Times reports. 

PARIS HILTON'S KNIFE WIELDING THIEF GETS 2 YEARS

MADMAN

TERRIFIED

THE KNIFE wielding thief who left Paris Hilton "terrified" when he tried to break into her LA pad has been sentenced to two-years behind bars.
Armed with two deadly blade Nathan Lee Parada banged on her window as he attempted to break in, but he was foiled by the celebutard's then boyfriend, baseball player Cy Waits, who stopped him before he could get in, by holding him at gunpoint.
At the time the star tweeted: "So Scary, just got woken up to a guy trying to break into my house holding 2 big knifes. Cops are here arresting him."

IDIOT TODD BLAUVELT JR PASSED HOME OFF AS HIS OWN

DUMMY

AS WAYS to impress your girlfriend go, this probably wasn't the best plan.
Idiot teen Todd Blauvelt Jr told his girlfriend that he had inherited a multimillion-dollar lakefront home and convinced her family to move in with him.
Then a problem arose.
Just as they were getting settled in, the owner showed up to the South Bristol, NY home and called the cops.
It appeared that Blauvelt had previously taken other friends to the house and told them the same inheritance story, but said his father refused to give him the house key, New York State Police investigator Mark Eifert said.