LUIS BRIONES DROVE DRUNK WHILE HAVING SEX: COPS

Luis 'The Lothario' Briones sure knows how to show a woman a good time. Cops say the 25-year-old New Mexico Casanova was driving his Ford Explorer while drunk [bad enough] and having sex with a woman at the same time. But then lusty Luis crashed the SUV near Albuquerque and his naked playmate was thrown from the vehicle. Our hero was found with one shoe on and his shorts on inside-out. His naked
nympho suffered deep cuts to her face and head, the Albuquerque Journal said.  Not in enough trouble, George Clooney of the Burger King set tried to drive away and leave his naked pal high but probably not that dry. A witness snagged his keys from the ignition as big libido Luis tried to hide behind cactus from cops. He's charged with aggravated DWI, reckless driving and evading police.

BEYONCE TERRIFIED OF CRAZED UK STALKER

Security has been beefed up for Beyoncé’s concert in England amid fears a crazed stalker could cause the singer harm, The London Sun reports.  Staff at Twickenham Stadium in suburban London have been warned to be on the lookout for fan Bassey Essien when Beyoncé headlines the Sound of Change concert this Saturday.  The Sun said the sultry superstar has been sent a series of twisted, threatening letters. The paper added that Essien has already been cautioned to stay away from the 31-year-old singer.

PALS PLOTTED W. VA. MURDER OF SKYLAR NEESE

KILLER RACHEL SHOAF

MURDERED SKYLAR NEESE

They were supposed to be Skylar Neese's friends but in a bizarre murder that has stunned the small West Virginia town they called, a sinister plot has unraveled. For nearly nine months people around Star City saw the ubiquitous posters of the missing honors student. 
Skylar vanished July 6, 2012, when she sneaked out of her bedroom window. Surveillance video

BK BANDITS BUSTED. EMPLOYEE STOLE GETAWAY CAR

FOILED

A DASTARDLY pair of ham-burglars were left in a pickle, when a restaurant employee foiled their attempted robbery by sneaking out the back and taking their getaway car. 

Cops were easily able to ketchup with the pair, who ran into the Burger King in Stockton, CA brandashing guns and demanding cash. 

But as the two men were inside robbing the restaurant, another cashier snuck out the back where he noticed the suspects getaway car with the engine still running. 

Driving it away, he hid it round the corner and called the cops. 

Officers told CBS Sacramento that suspects Gabriel Gonzalez and Jeremy Lovitt panicked when they ran out and couldn't find the vehicle and ran into a nearby field. 

COPS COMB KENTUCKY FOR KILLERS OF JASON ELLIS

Police in Kentucky are scouring the Bluegrass State searching for the killers of Officer Jason Ellis who was murdered in a cowardly weekend ambush. Kentucky State Police and the Bardstown Police Department continue to investigate the death of Ellis, 33, who was found shot dead in his cruiser near Saturday morning. Detectives believe Ellis was ambushed as he cleared debris from the road in front of him. More in The Kentucky Post

MUGSHOT MADNESS: MASON REECE'S BROTHER BUSTED!

Yes, it's true... beloved Life cereal kid Mason Reece -- now an adult curiosity -- is said to be heartbroken over the arrest of his younger brother Reece Reece.
Mason had hoped to kickstart his flagging career with a role in The Hobbit but alas, it's back to the convention circuit.

STEPHANIE MIKLES HAD SEX WITH FAMILY DOG: COPS

Stephanie Mikles' alleged canine capers are giving Maryland cops paws. The 45-year-old special needs teacher for Hartford County Schools was arrested for having sex with her family dog. Detectives discovered photos and video of the blonde sex hound engaging in sexual antics with the dog during a month-long period.

The Daily Mail reports that she was hired in 2009 and is on administrative leave. Children's services launched a probe in Mikles in 2012 on an entirely different matter. But when they

JUSTIN BIEBER TERRIFIED OF NFL STAR'S WRATH

Justin Bieber wasn’t quite so tough when confronted by former NFL star Keyshawn Johnson about his deadly driving habits, TMZ reports. The gossip website said Johnson had become so fed up with the petulant pop star he tried to confront him but Bieber ran away “like a scared child”, eyewitnesses told the site.
 Johnson apparently had just left a party Monday evening inside the exclusive gated community in posh Calabasas — he also had his child in the car — when Bieber raced by in his Ferrari at high speed. The grid great was furious and felt someone could have been killed. He took his child home then chased Bieber in his Prius. Johnson then blocked the teen heartthrob’s Ferrari and

DEADLINE DAY FOR TORONTO MAYOR FORD

THEY'VE done it.
Gawker have raised the $200,000 fee for the alleged video of Toronto mayor Rob Ford with their extremely well executed CrackStarter campaign.

GHOST CAMCORDER CATCHES MOM & SON INCEST

HE set up the camera to catch ghosts, but he reviewed the footage, he found something altogether more shocking - his girlfriend, sleeping with her own 16-year old son.
After months of strange noises and bumps in the night, the man, who cannot be named for legal reasons, decided to search for definitive evidence of the supernatural in his old home in Hobart, Australia.
So he began recording parts of the house overnight, analysing the footage each day for ghostly figures.
But then one day he forgot to switch the machine off, when he set off for work.

SON BUSTED FOR STEALING MOMMA'S POP TARTS

DON'T be stealing Momma's pop tarts!
She love's her toasted treats, so much so, that when Latasha Renee Love, discovered her teenage son had pilfered a box, she called the cops.
The 37-year-old was allegedly furious with the youngster, who officers say has had discipline issues in the past, that rather than reprimand him at her Charlotte, NC home, she called in the cops.
CMPD detective Keith Way told WCNC: "I see a lot of parents who have a problem with their children. It become's really desperate. I think at this particular time the best choice was made."
The youth has now been charged with misdemeanour larceny and will go to juvenile court, something his neighbours find hilarious.
One, Fred Patrick told reporters: "He seems real nice to me. I mean, he's real respectful."
Latasha however, was less than polite, hurling an obscenity, before disappearing inside her home.

MUGSHOT MOVIE MADNESS: GRILLS IN THE MIST

OK, we admit it: We don't get grills. But before embarking on his Fulbright Scholarship, this gentleman thought it a championship idea to show those foreigners a little American style and ingenuity.

CAROLINA KEITHS LIVED WITH 80 ROTTING ANIMALS

A twisted trio of South Carolina women were living with more than 80 dead and rotting animals -- including dogs, cats, birds, ferrets and shockingly even a baby deer. Rebecca Keith, 58, and daughters, Amanda Keith, 33, and Sara Keith, 31, of Laurens, South Carolina, were arrested at their home after police made the gruesome discovery.  Authorities said the home was a veritable gumbo of filth and stomach-churning sights and smells, including feces covering the floor, flies and maggots all over the fridge and freezer, not to mention the dead animals. 

MORMON MOM'S MALDONADO'S MEXICO FRAME-UP

Mormon mom of seven Yanira Maldonado and her family are claiming she was framed trying to bring marijuana into Mexico. Now, the Arizona woman is living her worst nightmare rotting in a Mexican jail. Her family says that the reefer was discovered under her seat on a commercial bust -- but it wasn't her's.
Her daughter Anna Soto told FOX 10: "If you would've known my mom, if you would've met her — you would know she had nothing to do with it."
Soto added that when she spoke with her mother: "She started crying and...she's like, 'I have faith that people will help us, that we will get out of this together as a family'."

TIARA MONIQUE GARNESS SINGS A SAD THONG

NOT EXACTLY AS SHOWN

Thong sung blue indeed. Cops in South Carolina arrested Tiara Monique Garness, 22, for wearing a thong bikini on one of the beaches. She was charged with indecent exposure. A bizarre law snared her because her buttocks weren't covered. Sometimes, as they say, the law is an ass.