MUGSHOT MANIA: 'I'LL GIVE YOU A SLAP, COPPER'

She ain't talkin'. Not to you or any other copper. Got it flatfoot? And I ain't tellin' ya where the loot is.

WHITEY BULGER TRIAL: 'I'M NO STOOL PIGEON'

Whitey Bulger has always denied he was a stool pigeon despite the fact the FBI has a boatload of files revealing that the Boston crime kingpin was indeed, a rat.
In an interview with NBC NEWS former G-Man Robert Fitzpatrick said that's always been the tune the mob canary has whistled.
Fitzpatrick told NBC: “When I interviewed him, he said he was not an informant and I found that odd because my whole reason for going out there was to assess him as an informant.  The worst thing for an Irish guy in Boston is to be a tout, [informant]. He said he would never testify.”

BLACK WIDOW MELISSA ANN SHEPARD JAILED

BLACK WIDOW

A BLACK widow who served time for killing her first husband and who's second died in

"mysterious circumstances" is back behind bars after trying to poison hubby number three. 

"People who have contact with this lady should be careful," the judge said about Melissa Ann Shepard, 78, after she admitted to administering a noxious substance to her new husband Fred Weeks, 75. 

The pair had been married for just a few days, when the geriatric groom fell ill at a Bed and Breakfast in Cape Breton, N.S, last September. 

JACKO PROMOTER KNEW DOCS WERE 'SHOOTING HIM UP'

"SHOOTING HIM UP"

MICHAEL Jackson's concert promoter knew his doctors were "shooting him up with something" lawyers for his family claimed yesterday and they have the e-mail to prove it.
Handing the bombshell memo to AEG Live supremo, Randy Phillips, who was handling the King of Pop's final shows, they made him read his own words about the concerns he had for the star.
Written just two days before the star's death, he mentioned concerns about the powerful medication being administered by Jacko's long time pal, Dr Arnie Klein.
"He scares us to death," he wrote, less than 48 hours before Jacko died from a lethal anesthesia overdose, administered by another doctor, Conrad Murray.

ANDREW MAYNARD SLAUGHTERED 'POSSESSED' DOG

A twisted Illinois teen who thought his dad's Shetland sheepdog was possessed butchered the doomed canine and left it to die. Cops say Andrew J. Maynard, 18, now faces animal cruelty charges in the death of Frisky, who was ritually killed in Audubon park. Maynard had told his dad he was taking the poor pooch for a walk but when they arrived at the park, the dog was killed and left to die.
“He thought the dog was possessed,” Assistant State’s Attorney Oscar Garcia told the Chicago Sun-Times, adding that Maynard's dog noticed the dog was missing..
Maynard told cops he hammered a pot pourri of drugs that put him in "a bad state of mind." Gives one paws.

ERIN BROCKOVICH'S SHOCKING, BOOZY MUGSHOT

OK, so sometimes art doesn't imitate life. Example A: Feel good movie Erin Brockovich, starring Julia Roberts as a brassy, bosomy environmental crusader ends in a victory for the good guys. Our heroine, as stunning as ever. Of course, that happened in real life too but it appears the REAL Erin Brockovich has developed a bit of a boozing problem if her mugshot is any indication. Just in case you didn't know, that's the real thing on the right. Brockovich was busted for taking a boozy boat ride near Las Vegas. Cops say she was boasting twice the legal limit. Party on Erin Brockovich, party on.

JEFFREY WEISHEIT FACES DEATH FOR FATAL KID FIRE

MURDERED

DEATH?

THE DEATH penalty awaits for Jeffrey Weisheit if he's convicted of starting the fire at his fiance's house, which killed her two children.
Cops say the 37-year-old was supposed looking after Alyssa Lynch, eight, and her five-year-old brother Caleb while their mom and the woman he was supposed to marry, Lisa was at work.
She told them they'd planned for him to drop the kids off at her parents house, before he went on to his job.
But the youngsters never made it - both of them passing away in the ferocious blaze that raged through their Evanville, IN home.
The flames were so intense that it took cadaver dogs several hours to locate the children's charred bodies, the Courier Press reports.

DYING NIGHT STALKER RAMIREZ TURNED GREEN

What secrets did notorious serial killer Richard Ramirez --AKA The Night Stalker-- take to the grave? Detectives have never completely closed the book on the maniac even though he's been on death row at San Quentin since 1989.
Ramirez, 53, died Friday morning of liver failure but when his body was found, his skin was a fluorescent green, the New York Post reports. Ramirez was the sinister conductor of an orchestra of bloodshed and mayhem that terrorized southern California in the 1980s. And there is another mystery to be solved: Why was his skin green? The day before, the Satan-loving madman had a shocking green hue to his skin, a source told The Post.

SANDY HOOK CON ARTIST NOUEL ALBA 'GUILTY'

SHAMELESS

POZNER

A CALLOUS con artist who
pocketed all the cash she claimed to be raising for one of the Sandy Hook school shooting victims, pled guilty Thursday.
Shameless huckster Nouel Alba, 37, set up a Facebook page claiming to the aunt of six-year-old Noah Pozner, within hours of the horrific killing spree.
He was one of the 20 children to die in the attack by nutjob Adam Lanza, who also killed six adults in elementary school, before turning the gun on himself.

MUGSHOT MANIA: PhD. ASKS THE BIG QUESTIONS

This young philosophy major puts his money where his mouth is attempting to answer one of life's most eternal questions: What the Fuck? Next stop, Stanford.

PORN QUEEN VALERIE DODDS 'STRIPPED FOR REVENGE'

"ALL THINGS IN CHRIST"

A TEEN porn queen who stripped and masturbated on her old Catholic high school's football field, told cops she "did it for revenge."
Valerie Dodds, 19, claims teachers and pupils mocked her ambition of going into the adult entertainment industry.
So last week she went back to the uber conservative Pius X school in Lincoln, Nebraska to perform her raunchy show.
Dodd's, who performs under the name "Val Midwest"
was filmed dangling her body in front of the school's motto "Restore All Things in Christ" and masturbating on the football field during the late night shoot on May 13.
She told KETV that she had started a nude photo business a few months ago, but some of the kids had criticised it, labelling her "a slut."

FART LED DEBORAH ANN BURNS TO STAB BOYFRIEND

EXPLOSIVE

A LITTLE gas provoked a huge explosion from Deborah Ann Burns who told cops that she stabbed her boyfriend because he "farted in her face."
The 37-year-old said she was watching TV in Immokalee, FL home, when her boyfriend Willie Butler "purposely" passed wind on her.
Cops told the Naples News, she then, "confronted him him about the fart and Willie became agitated, telling her to shut up."
The fight then allegedly moved to the kitchen.
When officers arrived they found Butler in front of his house with cuts to his abdomen and his arms.
He told them that she had grabbed a kitchen knife and chucked it at him, hitting him in the stomach and he'd left the house.

COPS: ERIN BROKOVITCH DRUNK-BOATING ON THE LAKE

DRUNK

CELEBRITY lawyer Erin Brokovitch's failure to dock, could land her in the dock after she was busted for being drunk while in charge of her boat.
The legal clerk and environmental activist, who Julia Roberts won an Oscar for portraying in the movie about her battle with Pacific Gas and Electric was not in a good way when a game warden spotted her.
Edwin W. Lyngar, a spokesman with the Nevada Wildlife Department she was slurring her words and acting in an intoxicated manner as she struggled with the craft on Lake Mead, just outside Boulder City.
He added that she tested above the legal limit of .08 blood alcohol content and was held in the Clark County Detention Center before bailing out.

MUGSHOT MANIA: MARTY FELDMAN ALIVE AND WELL

One of the world's great mysteries has finally been unraveled: Famed Brit comedian really DIDN'T die of a heart attack while filming Yellowbeard in Mexico in 1982. He's been in Texas all along.

DEADBEAT DAD ORLANDO SHAW HAS 22 KIDS; 14 WOMEN

"CAN'T KNOCK A MAN FOR LOVING WOMEN"

Few play the game jewels in the crown better than America's biggest deadbeat dad, Orlando "You Turn Me on Baby" Shaw. The walking, talking sperm bank has a staggering 22 children by 14 different women and has now been dragged into a Tennessee court for unpaid child support. What? You have to pay, care and nurture them? Damn straight my ejaculating friend. The 33-year-old even said he'd lost count of how many kids he has and by how many mothers. Taking a guess, the condom-hating horndog thought "roughly" 18 kids with 17 women.