Drunk driver mistakes jail for bar

PAW PAW, MICHIGAN -- Heard the one about a woman who walked into a bar? Or should that be behind bars?

Cops say a really drunk woman had trouble telling them apart when she mistook Michigan's Van Buren County jail for the bar for a bar where she was trying to pick up her boyfriend. 

A deputy spotted the 39-year-old backing into the jail at about 2 a.m. Sunday and noticed she smelled of alcohol and appeared intoxicated, according to the Van Buren County Sheriff's Dept.  

A breath test showed she had more than twice the 0.08 percent blood alcohol, considered drunk in Michigan and she will now face drunken driving charges.  

'SMURFS' MADE SARAH BOUSHEY DRIVE DRUNK

SHE was so wasted that she was seeing little blue men and couldn't remember her own name. 
This was after she'd smashed her car up. 
But then Sarah Boushey, came up with a novel excuse for her horrific drunk driving - she'd been watching "The Smurfs" movie with her daughter. 
Worse still, it was her four-year-old who filled in the blanks - like her name - bluntly telling cops: "she's drunk."   
San Francisco cops found the incoherent 42-year-old had a blood alcohol limit of more than three times the legal limit, which probably had something to do with the half-empty bottle of vodka in her purse. 

CELEBRITY JUSTICE! LINDSAY LOHAN DOES 5 HRS. IN JAIL

UPDATE: After serving just 5 hours of her 30 day jolt in the Big House, former actress Lindsay Lohan walked out of jail free as a bird. Law enforcement's reason? Jail overcrowing. Our take: LA's a company town, Lohan is a screw-up but she's Hollywood's screw-up. The Mean Girl remains, the quintessence of celebrity justice in America. LOHAN WALKS: CALIFORNIA SHOULD SINK INTO PACIFIC

TOPLESS ERIN HOLDSWORTH'S WILD 128 MPH CHASE

TOPLESS, drunk and driving at 128mph - it must have been a helluva party.
Meet drunken vixen Erin B. Holdsworth who cops were only able to bust after they layed down stop sticks after a high speed chase earlier this month.

Officers' jaws dropped as they told her to d get out of the vehicle and she was wearing nothing but a see-through top, g-string and a pair of tennis shoes. 

PROSECUTOR: LINDSAY LOHAN 'SHOULD GO BACK TO JAIL'

WHO ME?

FORMER actress Lindsay Lohan should go back to jail, after she was booted from a women's shelter where a judge wanted her to spend most of her community service, a city prosecutor has claimed.
City attorney's spokesman Frank Mateljan said he didn't know why the troubled 57-year-old star had been asked to leave said but said: "We feel that her being terminated from it is a violation."
When she sentenced for violating her probation in a 2007 drunken driving case and a misdemeanor theft case earlier this year, Judge Stephanie Sautner made it clear that at least 360 of the 480 hours of service should be spent at the Downtown Women's Shelter.
Praising the Los Angeles center's mission she told the star during one hearing that she thought being at the facility would do Lohan good.

WALMART HEIRESS ALICE WALTON BUSTED FOR DWI

DRUNK

THE HEIRESS to the Walmart fortune spent most of her 62nd birthday in jail after cops busted her for drunk driving.

Alice Walton, who Forbes currently name as, America's 10th richest person was busted Friday night after failing a field sobriety test. 

The daughter of store founder Sam Walton, who's estimated net worth is $23 Billion, was then determined to be intoxicated and taken to the Parker County Jail, about 20 miles west of her luxury, Mislap, TX mansion.

DRUNK MOM NIKKI SETTLE TOSSED SON TO ESCAPE DUI

NOT TOO BRIGHT NIKKI

A DRUNK mom tossed her her son over a fence while fleeing from her car which she'd crashed while driving under the influence.  
None to bright Nikki Settle, 25, already had a suspended license when she smashed her car on into the median on South Carolina's Interstate 26.
But rather than hang around, the dumb mom, scooped her son out of her white Lexus, walked across the highway and up a hill.
She then tried to toss the four-year-old over a 10ft tall fence.
Needless to say the horrified witnesses, who'd watched her driving erratically before the crash, stepped in and according to WHNS she talked her out of hurting her son until deputies arrived.
Thankfully an EMS check revealed the boy, who authorities turned over to his grandmother, was unharmed. 

PISSED PISTON BEN WALLACE CONCEALED PISTOL: COPS

BUSTED

DETROIT Piston Ben Wallace could be slammed into jail for up to five years after he was busted  for concealing a pistol and driving drunk.
Cops say the 37-year-old center, who hold a record four NBA Defensive Player Of The Year title's was busted after they noticed his his Cadillac Escalade driving erratically in suburban Detroit. 
“A roadside investigation revealed that Wallace was operating his motor vehicle while intoxicated,” police said in a press release. 
Officers say Wallace was given a blood-alcohol test and he was above Michigan's legal limit of .08 percent and when they searched his truck they found an unloaded pistol in a backpack on the passenger seat, police said.
Wallace, who helped the Pistons win the 2004 NBA title, was arraigned and released on a $5,000 personal bond. His next court hearing is Monday.

BARACK OBAMA'S UNCLE HITS COURT FOR DUI

DRUNK?

PRESIDENT Barack Obama's uncle went to court for the first time in connection with his drunk driving charge.
As we reported here, back in August Onyango Obama stunned officers busting him for drunk driving by asking to call the White House after they hauled him in.
They say he made a rolling stop nearly causing a cruiser to strike his SUV and when they asked him if he wanted to make a phone call he told them: "I think I will call the White House."

MY NAME IS EARL'S JAIME PRESSLY GETS PROBATION

"HAMMERED"

MY NAME Is Earl star Jamie Pressly's art imitated life as she was sentence to three years of informal for drunk driving. The Emmy Award winning actress, who played mouthy adulteress Joy Turner on the hit show was busted with a blood alcohol content of more than .20, well over the legal limit of .08. A police insider said: "She was pretty hammered at the time, way too drunk to be driving at the time and the officers had no choice but to bust her. "Let's just say she was one of the more attractive busts we've had down at the station."
Santa Monica Deputy City Attorney Melanie Skehar said her attorney entered the plea, which will require the star, who has often appeared in FHM's top 10 sexiest women, to attend a six-month alcohol education class as well as probation. She added that the Department of Motor Vehicles is also requiring an ignition locking device be installed on her car.

OBAMA'S UNCLE ON DUI: 'I'LL CALL THE WHITE HOUSE'

UNCLE

PRESIDENT

PRESIDENT Obama's uncle stunned officers busting him for drunk driving by asking to call the White House after they hauled him in.
Onyango Obama was picked up in Framingham, MA, after cops say he made a rolling stop nearly causing a cruiser to strike his SUV.
But when the officers asked him if he wanted to make a phone call he told them: "I think I will call the White House."

DRUNKEN IDIOT TIMOTHY RAINES STOLE FORKLIFT

THIS is the moment a drunken douchebag stole a forklift and went on a bizarre low speed chase along the fort worth side streets.
WARNING BAD LANGUAGE:

 
Nathan Lowery caught this astonishing footage on his iPhone as suspect Timothy Raines drunkenly veered across traffic, nearly hitting several vehicles. 

DUI FOR THAT'S SO RAVEN STAR ORLANDO BROWN

DRUNK

THAT'S So Raven star Orlando Brown had been busted for drunk driving, with his pregnant girlfriend in the car according to cops.
The 23-year-old actor/rapper was driving through Hollywood late Friday when cops stopped his car in front of his home because he did not have a license plate.
Then when they opened up his car they smelled booze so they immediately gave him a filed sobriety test, which he flunked, according to TMZ.  
A source close to the star revealed: "Orlando was as shocked as anyone that he failed the test. Although they had been out, he'd only had a few drinks.

SEXIEST DUI EVER: MODEL SUELYN MEDEIROS, BUST-ED

BUST-ED

WHAT a bust - and the arrest wasn't bad either.
There would definitely been a few raised eyebrows as Brazilian bikini model SueLyn Medeiros was marched into the station house.
Cops told gossip site TMZ that the 25-year-old beauty was pulled over in Hollywood on Wednesday after crashing her DeLorean into a parked car.
Opening the Back to the Future mobile, cops said there was a strong odor of booze in the car and their suspicions were confirmed when her blood alcohol level was .14 almost twice the legal limit in California.   As they gave her the field sobriety test and bragged that

JACKASS RYAN DUNN WAS DRUNK: COPS

DUNN LEFT, HOURS BEFORE DEATH, DRINK IN HAND

JACKASS Ryan Dunn was drunk and speeding up to 140mph when his Porsche careered of a highway and blew up in a huge ball of flames, cops have confirmed.
Toxicology reports showed the ginger bearded star's  blood alcohol level was more than twice the Pennsylvania limit of 0.08 at 0.196.
But while the manager of Barnaby's in West Chester confirmed that a tweeted photo showing Dunn with a drink his in hand was taken at the bar, he claimed that he didn't seem drunk when he left.
He added: "Ryan was not a hardcore drinker, at least not when he was here."
Dunn's car was found almost just a mile away from the bar by cops who described it as "fully engulfed in flames," when they arrived.

JACKASS RYAN DUNN MAY HAVE BEEN SPEEDING: COPS

JACKASS star Ryan Dunn wasn't killed by one of show's incredible stunts, instead he may have been speeding, cops say. Probably best known for inserting a toy car into his ass for a gag called "Butt X-Ray" in the first of the franchises two movies, Dunn's Porsche left the road outsider of Philadelphia and burst into flames.
His passenger Zachary Hartwell was also killed in the 3am crash, which happened shortly after Dunn  had tweeted a picture of himself drinking with friends.
The photo has since been removed, but has been retweeted by many of his fans. Autopsies were to be conducted yesterday but it's unclear when the results will be released.

ID. SENATOR JOHN MCGEE GOES ON DRUNKEN RAMPAGE

CAR-AZY

IF YOUR going to go on a crazy drunken rampage there's no point doing things by halves. 
And boy, did Idaho State Senator John McGee go for it. 
The former 'Republican Legislator of the Year' who recently  supported legislation to outlaw texting and driving, got completely wasted, stole an SUV, crashed it and then went to sleep in it. 
The Senate's youngest member had one too many at a Boise golf course Saturday night before jumping into the Ford Excursion with the 20ft trailer hooked up, which had been left with the keys in. 
Shortly afterwards he tried turning the vehicle and trailer around in a driveway only to jackknife it and become stuck.
At this point the somewhat confused senator got out and went for a little wander before returning to the vehicle and falling asleep.