Pizza perv Austin Symonds 'rubbed testicles on pie'

What a dick! A temperamental teen pizza parlor employee rubbed his genitals all over a customer's pie because gooey goodie was ordered 30 minutes before closing time.
Twisted Austin Michael Symonds, 18, was pinched for perversion just as the customer walked in to the Texas pizzeria pick it up, the Austin American-Statesman is reporting.
The stunned customer told cops he watched in awe as the newly-unemployed  Symonds,  at Georgetown's Papa Murphy's Pizza was "rubbing his testicles on the pizza he had ordered."

 But the mozzarella masturbator was caught, er, red-handed and told the customer: "Man, I am really sorry. That was stupid."
Oh, absolutely. The tomato sauce tyrant said if he hadn't been caught, he would have given the customer the pie. For the record, the penetrated pizza was a stuffed, family sized pie topped with Canadian bacon, pineapple and extra cheese. Symonds was arrested and charged with tampering with a consumer product. He was released on $10,000 bail.