TRAIN HOPPER FAILS TO COVER TRACKS

ARTIST'S IMPRESSION

HE really went off the rails with this one.
Loco James Frank Salazar, 40, hopped onto the roof of a train in Grand Junction, CO in the hope of a free ride to work.
But as the train whooshed past his destination, Parachute, he called police on his cell phone and asked them to stop it.
Glenwood Springs Police Chief Terry Wilson said: “He called us around 11:40 p.m., asking us to stop the train because he was freezing and wanted to get off.”
Salazar later told police he was bound for Parachute, where he was scheduled to work a job the next day, Wilson added.
However, the train did not make a stop there and continued on toward

QUEST FOR HITMAN LANDS WOMAN ON MORON.COM

MARISSA MARK

HOW do you find the right bounty hunter? Those times when any old killer just won't do. Try hitmanforhire.com, the Craigslist for finding thugs to do your “whacking” for you.
That’s what a Jersey City woman did when she wanted to take her ex-boyfriend’s new gal pal off the board. Unfortunately for Marissa Mark, 28, she ended up stealing several credit cards and a Paypal account only to hire a broke Las Vegas card dealer, Essam Eid. Eid got cold feet at the last minute when he told the intended target his intentions.
But going that one step further that marks the truly stupid criminal, he then attempted to extort Anne Royston by promising to kill Mark if she paid the fee instead. Royston--more sensible than either her love rival or would be killer--called the cops.

NC HOME LITTERED WITH DEAD PETS, SICK CHILDREN

MOM

A SICKENING hell hole of a home has given cops paws. With the dog days of summer in the distance, it seems lousy parents are never out of season. After receiving a string of complaints regarding the trashy-state of a make-shift pet store, cops discovered the Rockwell, North Carolina home to be filled with dead pets—as well as a couple of unhealthy kids who were forced to survive in the shithole.
They  weren’t even enrolled in public school. Social Services has since removed the children and animal control thankfully managed to save three of the maltreated canines.
In addition to being charged with animal cruelty, Angela Lore, 35, and David Lore Jr., 37, are facing charges of child abuse and contributing to child delinquency.
The cruel parents are being held in jail on bail for $250, 000.

COLD-BLOODED MOTOWN COP KILLER GETS LIFE IN JAIL

A DETROIT punk was hammered with life behind bars in the cold-blooded execution slaying of a veteran Motown cop. Jason Gibson, 26, was involved in a gang shootout when Officer Brian Huff stepped into the scene. Gibson shot the cop twice in the face before unloading the rest of his ammo into Huff’s support team. In addition to a conviction for first-degree murder, Gibson also faced down an astounding 16 additional charges—which included drug possession and assault. Bryan Glover, an officer who shot Gibson in the ass as the coward attempted to get away relives the horror of the murder on a regular basis but confesses the verdict is a first step.

HE SAID: “It's a new start for me; for Brian's wife and son; and for my brothers in blue. And Jason Gibson will rot in hell, and spend the rest of

CAMP COUNSELLOR RAPED AUTISTIC BOY, 8: NYPD

MEET Francesco Zaffuto--creep of the day. Seems that the 19-year-old Staten Island Catholic camp counselor and Alice in Wonderland aficionado sexually attacked an 8-year-old autistic boy. According to the New York Post, freaky Francesco came to court armed with "The Complete Works of Lewis Carroll." Carroll, was of course, notorious for photographing naked children.
Cops say Zaffuto used his mom's iphone to take pix of him forcing the victim into performing sex acts. The phone's GeoTag feature revealed the time and place the snaps were taken. He has been hammered with a

IRS KILLER'S DAUGHTER: 'DAD'S NOT A BAD GUY'

A 50-year-old Massachusetts woman allegedly murdered by her husband following a visit from the IRS, was freaking out before being killed. According to her daughter Ashley, Jennifer Freudenthal, went batshit crazy smashing guitars after the taxman seized her favorite car, a 1970 Cutlass. With mum in the morgue and dad now in jail, Ashley told the Boston Herald her father is no killer.

“Everybody is making my father out to be a bad guy. He’s not a bad guy. After they took the car, my dad was trying to have my mother arrested

CAUGHT BRO IN BED WITH FIANCEE; SLIT CAT'S THROAT

PETA better hear about this guy. A jealous suburban Chicago nutjob man exploded in rage when he became discovered his fiancee was cheating--with his brother. According to cops, Sean Mulcahy, 31, slit the throat of his brother Ryan's cat after discovering the sibling was having sex with his wife to be. He was “enraged and intoxicated” when he took one of the cat’s nine lives—a feat done in the driveway of his brother’s home, and Mulcahy’s current residence, no less. His brother came home to discover a pool of blood coming from his deceased cat, discarded in the gutter.
Mulcahy, who pleaded guilty, was sentenced to 30 months probation and 150 hours of community service.
MORE ON CAT KILLING

ABC: NO CHARGES FOR CRAZY CHRIS BROWN

ANGRY

ANGER management classes clearly haven't worked for Chris Brown, but he won't be back in the dock yet after ABC declined to press charges against him for smashing up his dressing room.
The furious R & B star smashed a window with a chair after Good Morning America co-host Robin Roberts asked him about his attack on Rihanna. 
Asked about the loosening of a restraining order Rihanna has against Brown, he responded uncomfortably saying: "It is not really a big deal to me now."As far as that situation I am past that in my life and today is the album day so that is what I am focused on."

$50K REWARD FOR "AMBUSH AND ASSASSINATION"

"BUDDY"

$50,000 REWARD

REWARD money for a vicious cop killer who launched an: "Ambush and assassination" on two Athens cops has hit $50,000.
Hundreds of officers from all of Georgia's law enforcement agencies, have joined the search for vicious shooter Jamie Hood, who killed father of four, Elmer "Buddy" Christian when he tried stop him for a car jacking.  
He is also accused of shooting Senior Police Officer Tony H. Howard, 43 although he is is expected to recover from head and chest wounds in the hospital.
Announcing the huge reward Athens Clarke

SLAIN COUPLE BANNED TEEN FROM GAL PAL, 12

KILLER

A TROUBLED teen his aunt and uncle because they tried to ban him from seeing his younger girlfriend, cops say.
Gary and Barbara Holloway were found dead in their bed, allegedly killed by their nephew, 15-year-old Christopher Endicott,  into their Edmonton, KY home.
They had taken him in because his own mother could not control him.
But when they tried to ban him from seeing 12-year-old Kyra Shockley he killed the couple, riddling Gary, 51 with bullets.
Initial reports suggest the murder of Barbara may have been more

AMERICAN IDOL'S STEFANO LANGONE DUI HYPOCRITE

DRUNK

HIS sob story won the hearts of millions of American Idol viewers, but Stefane Langone didn't tell fans he was a convicted drunk driver - a year after one almost killed him in a crash.
Langone, currently in the top 11 contestants on the show, told how he nearly lost his life when his car was struck by a drunk driver.
He walked away with two broken arms that now have metal plates and screws in them as well as a broken pelvis.
But while he was happy to milk the sympathy vote, what he didn't reveal, was almost a year later, he irresponsibly got behind the wheel of a car, while over the limit.
Caught in May 2010 by Seattle cops, his arresting officer Christopher

CALI JUDGES NIXES PUBLIC TRIAL FOR CHARLIE SHEEN

PUBLIC

CRAZY Charlie Sheen's attempt to air his dirty linen in public has been denied by a California judge.
The troubled star, sacked from Two And A Half Men after series of bizarre drug fueled binges with porn stars and hookers, asked for his $100 million lawsuit to be held in a public court. 
His legal team based their argument on concerns about the impartiality of judges presiding over his case against show bosses Chuck Lorre Productions and Warner Bros.
He claimed that they do, "lots of business with Warner Bros," as some of them had worked with the production company on other