Drunk driver mistakes jail for bar

PAW PAW, MICHIGAN -- Heard the one about a woman who walked into a bar? Or should that be behind bars?

Cops say a really drunk woman had trouble telling them apart when she mistook Michigan's Van Buren County jail for the bar for a bar where she was trying to pick up her boyfriend. 

A deputy spotted the 39-year-old backing into the jail at about 2 a.m. Sunday and noticed she smelled of alcohol and appeared intoxicated, according to the Van Buren County Sheriff's Dept.  

A breath test showed she had more than twice the 0.08 percent blood alcohol, considered drunk in Michigan and she will now face drunken driving charges.  

Man shot for spitting in the street

PENNSYLVANIA -- Perhaps he'll learn not to spit on the street anymore, even though the lesson he got was still pretty harsh.
An argument over spitting led to a man being shot in both legs, cops in eastern Pennsylvania said.
Investigators said that a man took offense when the 25-year-old victim spat on the sidewalk Saturday evening and an argument began.
The victim told cops he apologized but the suspect shot him anyway, before fleeing.  

Heartache: Human remains LIKELY Hannah Graham's

CHARLOTTESVILLE, VIRGINIA -- Unidentified human remains have been found in an abandoned property by cops investigating the disappearance of 18-year-old Hannah Graham.
Albermale County Police Col. Steve Sellers said that the 18-year-old University of Virginia student's family had been notified immediately after they were found, adding that they had been taken to the state medical examiner for identification.
"This sadly is now a death investigation," he said. "We will not jump to any conclusions regarding today's discovery."

Shootout breaks out at SoCal Chuck E. Cheese

Of all the places for a shootout to take place Chuck E. Cheese is probably not the place to choose but gunfire did break out at a branch of the family entertainment centre in Southern California, sheriff's officials said.
Investigators said that shots were fired after a fight broke out at the restaurant in Carson, but while a door and window were hit, no one was harmed, the Los Angeles Sheriff's Department said.  
Three people were detained in connection with the shooting, they added.

MISSED US? The BEST of Crime Scene USA this week!

MONDAY
Emmet Kelly weeps! Scary clowns terrorize California town
Scary clowns are terrorizing a small town in California's San Joaquin Valley where cops have been called out numerous times in the past week.
CLOWN CATASTROPHE

PISSED! Pee bombers target Texas students
Jeep-driving pee-bombers have been throwing urine at women in Austin, cops said. The ominous looking black vehicle pulled up alongside the college age women and fired the urine filled bottles at their victims. LIKE, TOTALLY PISSED

Teacher Nicole Dufault's oral sex video blackmail 
Ms. Dufault [call me Nicole] knows how to P.A.R.T.Y. A New Jersey high school teacher may have been blackmailed with a raunchy video showing her giving oral sex to a 15-year-old student while another filmed the action, according to her lawyer.  SCHOOL CAN BE FUN

 TUESDAY
CROOKED MAYOR OF CHARLOTTE 
The fat cat former mayor of Charlotte who prosecutors say accepted nearly $50,000 in bribes is to be sentenced in his federal corruption case. CROOKED PAT

WEDNESDAY
Brother of Holly Bobo murder suspect raped her: Cops
The brother of the prime suspect in the Holly Bobo murder case has been indicted and charged with raping the 20-year-old nursing student, authorities said.  HOLLY BOBO CASE

THURSDAY
Playboy model Krista Boseley, sugar daddy busted with dope
A wannabe Playboy model has been busted with 100 pounds of MDMA powder and a whopping 50,000 Ecstasy pills. Krista Boseley, 30, and her possible 61-year-old sugar daddy, Gilles Lapointe, were pinched when their private jet landed in Orange County. PLAYBOY PRETTY PINCHED

Man who murdered Stringbean and wife gets parole
The killer who murdered beloved Hee Haw and country music star  David (Stringbean) Akeman and his wife, Estelle, in 1973 has finally been granted parole. A Tennessee Board of Parole panel released John A. Brown after almost 40 years in jail. SHOULD HAVE STRING-ED HIM UP

FRIDAY
 Teaching temptress Debra Lafave gets break
Party teacher par excellence Debra Lafave will soon have her probation ended for the notorious sexual romps she had with a 14-year-old student. The Florida Supreme Court ruled in the teacher temptress' favor in her bid to cut the sentence short. DIRTY DEBBIE

Sex teacher Debra Lafave wins end to probation

TAMPA, FLORIDA -- Party teacher par excellence Debra Lafave will soon have her probation ended for the notorious sexual romps she had with a 14-year-old student. The Florida Supreme Court ruled in the teacher temptress' favor in her bid to cut the sentence short.
The former middle school English teacher was arrested in June 2004 after a 14-year-old boy's mother called cops to say Lafave was having sex with her son.

Polish pimps tattoo names on hookers as 'reward'

GDANSK, POLAND -- A twisted trio of Polish pimps tattooed their names on their hookers to claim them as property. The barbaric Baranowski brothers considered the bizarre markings as a "reward" for good work and loyalty. The sick tattoos were discovered afters cops raided a whorehouse and found 70 women inside -- many with their owners names inked onto their arms, legs and torsos. The hookers told cops they willingly worked for Leszek, 26, Pawel, 34, and Olek Baranowski, 31.
"Many of the women they were using were forced into the business, but at the moment we don't have any evidence that those that were tattooed were forced to undergo the procedure under duress,” prosecution spokesman Mariusz Marciniak said.

Brit embraced bestiality porn to cope with marriage

EXETER, ENGLAND -- An unhappy marriage apparently drove a British man in the loving arms of bestiality porn. Richard 'Old Dog' Blackmore claims he was in no way sexually aroused by the lurid images of people having sex with animals but said they helped with his anxiety and depression. The 46-year-old Brit was found with video and images on two separate occassions. The sick images involved horses, cattle and dogs.
The prosecution said: "He was interviewed and said he was married and his marriage went through highs and lows. He said he looked at normal pornography and when things were very bad he looked at images of bestiality.

MUGSHOT MANIA! This crook is hot off the grill

One fashion trend we've never quite understood is the gangsta affection for grills. As B.B. King sang, "the grill is gone."

Pervert Cassidy twins, 77, face litany of sex charges

LEXINGTON, KENTUCKY -- Meet the brothers Grim. Hard to believe these twisted old farts are serial child molesters but it's apparently true. Jack and Jerry Cassidy, 77, have been indicted for a litany of sex-related offenses against young boys dating back more than 40 years. Here's the dirt on these sickos:
* Jerry Allen Cassidy was indicted on one count of possession of a matter portraying a sex performance by a minor, two counts of second-degree sodomy, four counts of indecent and immoral practices with a child younger than 15, one count of third-degree sodomy and one count of first-degree sexual abuse.
* Jack Elliot Cassidy, was indicted on all the same charges but with one less count of indecent and immoral practices with another, according to the indictment returned Monday.
All their alleged victims were under 16.
The twisted old pups also pleaded guilty to sex charges in 1977 when they were leading a Lexington Boy Scout troop.  MORE IN THE HERALD LEADER

Read more here: http://www.kentucky.com/2014/10/14/3480373_lexington-twins-76-indicted-in.html?rh=1#storylink=cpy

Porn star pounder War Machine in suicide attempt

LAS VEGAS, NEVADA -- MMA meathead War Machine -- who's accused of trying to kill his porn star Girlfriend Christy Mack has tried to hang himself in a Las Vegas jail. TMZ reported that the 32-year-old musclehead -- currently awaiting trial-- apparently tied a sheet to his bunk bed and was unresponsive when guards found him. He is expected to recover. The MMA star -- real name Jonathan Koppenhaver -- left a suicide note and is under watch.
The mental Machine has been in jail since August after he pounded Mack -- star of Phat Ass White Girls 7, Ass Parade 38 and scores of others -- breaking several bones in her face, knocking her teeth out, cutting her with a knife and rupturing her liver. MORE IN THE NY DAILY NEWS

Killer of Opry star Stringbean, wife gets parole

NASHVILLE -- The killer who murdered beloved Hee Haw and country music star  David (Stringbean) Akeman and his wife, Estelle, in 1973 has finally been granted parole. A Tennessee Board of Parole panel released John A. Brown after almost 40 years in jail. Brown and his cousin Doug went down for murder after cold-bloodedly ambushing the pair on Nov. 10, 1973. They shot Strongbean to death as he entered the cabin just hours after performing at the Grand Ole Opry. It was rumoured the country star kept wads of cash in the modest cabin 20 minutes from Nashville. His wife was shot in the head when she tried to run.
Country star  Jean Shepard was bitter about the release: "Why should they turn him loose? He cold-bloodedly killed two friends of ours." MORE IN THE TENNESSEAN and a good backgrounder on the case HERE.

Playboy model Krista Boseley in massive dope bust

SANTA ANA, CALIFORNIA -- A wannabe Playboy model has been busted with 100 pounds of MDMA powder and a whopping 50,000 Ecstasy pills. Krista Boseley, 30, and her possible 61-year-old sugar daddy, Gilles Lapointe, were pinched when their private landed in Orange County.
Cops were suspicious of the pair and a trust dope-sniffing dog tipped them off that they weren't just bringing their bathing suits.
Lapointe had $13,000 in U.S. cash while Boseley was carrying $7,500 inside her posh Louis Vuitton purse. No, no, all wrong said the pair... we won it gambling in Las Vegas. Both are Canadian citizens with Boseley being from Vancouver. As she says on her Facebook page: “Don’t judge someone because they sin differently than you. Yes, I’m crazy. No, you can’t have some.” MORE FROM THE SMOKING GUN

MUGSHOT MANIA! Next Elizabeth Gilbert discovered

First, there was Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love about the madcap adventures of an entitled white woman who set off to find herself [with book contract in hand, of course.] Now, we've found the next big empowering book for white women: Hope You Dance.

Grandma who murdered grandson will stay in jail

DETROIT, MICHIGAN -- A gun toting granny who killed her 17-year-old grandson by blasting him with six shots, including two in the back, has had her murder conviction affirmed by a Michigan appeals court.
Sandra Layne said he rights were violated when a judge refused to allow threatening comments made by Jonathan Hoffmann which would have helped her self-defense claims.
The 76-year-old was convicted of second-degree murder in 2013 and sentenced to 22-years in prison after Hoffman was shot six times at her home in Michigan's West Bloomfield Township.
Hoffman was living with grandparents during his last year of high school and Layne claimed at trial that she had been scared by his behavior and drug use.
However, prosecutors played a recording of a 911 call that showed him being shot again while pleading for help.