Sex with teddy bear led to thief being nabbed

If you go down to the woods today you're in for a big surprise, especially if you live in Blackburn, England.
Paul Mountain was identified as a burglary suspect after having sex with a teddy bear and leaving his semen inside the toy.
Cops collared him after matching his DNA.
The 38-year-old told a court that he felt "an overwhelming need" for sexual relief as he came down from an amphetamine high.

Slippery thief makes off with 18 tons of Crisco

He must love french fries or something, but one slippery thief made of with 18 tons of Crisco, Florida cops said.
St. Petersburgh police said that the oily robber snatched the tractor trailer containing the vegetable oil that can be used for frying or making baked good.
It had been destined for a distribution center before the crook made off with it, investigators said.
Quite what they intend to do with the 36,000 pounds of oil remains to be seen.

Crooked mayor Pat Cannon to be sentenced

Crooked Pat

The fat cat former mayor of Charlotte who prosecutors say accepted nearly $50,000 in bribes is to be sentenced in his federal corruption case.
Patrick Cannon pleaded guilty in June to one count of honest wire services fraud in June in the federal corruption case that stunned North Carolina's largest city, after cutting a deal.
Prosecutors said he accepted the money in January 2013 when he was a city councilman and February 2014, just three months after he was elected mayor.
FBI agents posing as real estate developers recorded him accepting more than $48,000 in cash, airline tickets and a hotel room, in return for expediting permitting and zoning approvals.

Demon Barber of California slashes man's throat

Not Daniel Flores

He might not live on Fleet Street or put his victim's in pies but an Imperial Beach barber slashed one of his customer's throats, according to San Diego County Sheriff's officials.
Daniel Flores, is accused of slicing the center part of Timothy Vaughn's, just under his chin, investigators said.
The 33-year-old survived the attack and his injuries are not life threatening officials said.
Quite why the 22-year-old Flores attacked remains a mystery but he was booked into San Diego County Jail on one count of attempted murder.  

Dog 'needed 1,000 stitches' after vicious attack

Douchebag dog attackers left a pit bull mix named Spartacus needing more than 1,000 stitches after they stabbed him and beat him with a shovel, according to an animal rescue group. 

Cops in Los Angeles are investigating the attack which vets say left the animal with severe wounds to its head, neck and torso. 

"It's almost like they tried to cut his head off, it's ear to ear," said Alex Kyrklund, a manager at the Pet Care Veterinary Center where the dog was treated. "He seriously almost looks like an autopsy victim."  

However, the Ghetto Rescue Foundation said Spartacus is up and walking and expected to make a complete recovery. 

They added that the dog will eventually be returned to its family. 

Teacher Nicole Dufault's oral sex video blackmail

MAPLEWOOD, NEW JERSEY -- Ms. Dufault [call me Nicole] knows how to P.A.R.T.Y. A New Jersey high school teacher may have been blackmailed with a raunchy video showing her giving oral sex to a 15-year-old student while another filmed the action, according to her lawyer.
“We haven’t received the specifics, but we received some feedback to the effect of blackmail, coercion,” lawyer Timothy R. Smith said. “It seems at this point in time that the information we are receiving is legitimate. It’s something we’re obviously taking very seriously.”

MUGSHOT MANIA! Hair says she's a little bit country...

And no doubt, the old man is a little bit rock and roll. We heard her hair was a stand-in for Dolly Parton's.

Ex-porn queen Sasha Grey's beau ordered: stay away

SAN FERNANDO VALLEY -- Former porn queen Sasha Grey -- star of Anal Academy and Face Invaders 4 -- has worked hard to convince the world that all the gang bangs were just a, you know, artistic experiment. Well, she says now the reality is that it was an ex-boyfriend who lured her into the world of the lurid. Now, Ian Cinnamon -- who claimed he was a CIA spook -- has been ordered to stay away from the brunette beauty. She claims he viciously abused her. MORE FROM TMZ

Pee bombers target Texas students

Pee bombing victim. 

Jeep-driving pee-bombers have been throwing urine at women in Austin, cops said.
The ominous looking black vehicle pulled up alongside the college age women and fired the urine filled bottles at their victims.
"They threw urine out of a bucket on me," 22-year-old Maiya Johnson told KXAN, who added that she wouldn't be surprised if other women had been targeted but had not reported the incident.
After holding back the tears, Johnson said she went home and took a shower.
"First incident is pretty random," Detective Calvin Pierce said at a news conference. "Once it starts happening again, it's someone who enjoys doing it."

What a trip, man on week long LSD trip causes chaos

High on a week-long LSD trip, a Washington man broke into homes, stole and crashed a car and demanded a woman make him a sandwich, according to Pierce County Prosecutor's Office.
After breaking into a man's barn, wearing only one boot George Jacobson, ran off after he was threatened with dogs.
The 23-year-old then ran into a neighbour's home stole a gun and pointed it at her, before demanding she make him a sandwich.
Eating it, he told the woman he was on a "spiritual journey" and that the boot "contained his jewels."
After the woman's husband arrived home, they pair convinced Jacobson to get into their car, before dropping him to the bottom of their driveway and ordering to leave.
Jacobson now faces multiple charges, including burglary, robbery, theft of a firearm, kidnapping, vehicle prowling and criminal trespassing.  

Scary clowns terrorize California town

BAKERSFIELD, CALIFORNIA -- Scary clowns are terroriZing a small tow in California's San Joaquin Valley where cops have been called out numerous times in the past week.
In the latest incident, officers responded to a report of a clown holding a firearm Saturday , but they didn't find anyone.
"We've had multiple of these clown sightings all over town," Bakersfield police Lt. Jason Matson told KBAK. "He was gone by the time we arrived."
Meanwhile, on Thursday cops arrested a 14-year-old boy for dressing as a clown and scaring younger children.
Officers said he admitted to the acts which he'd done after seeing a hoax online.

MUGSHOT MANIA: 'So I said to Abdullah the Butcher..'

"I don't much like your attitude..." The Butcher did not take my frank views in the way they were intended.

Bristol Palin slut-shamed, dragged in bloody brawl

ANCHORAGE, ALASKA -- Bristol Palin -- the party girl daughter of former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin -- was slut-shamed triggering the bloody, drunken donnybrook at the snowmobile party last month. TMZ is reporting that Bristol's sister, Willow, 20, was shoved by the wife of the host and Bristol jumped to her defence. "Heavily intoxicated" Bristol told cops the woman's hubby Korey Klingenmeyer pushed the drunken stunner to the ground, dragged her around by her feet  and called her a slut and a c--t. Others claim it was everyone's favorite hometown GOP cutie who kicked off the melee by slugging Klingenmeyer 5-6 times after being given the boot from the bash.  Mama Palin said: "My straight-shooter is one of the strongest young women you'll ever meet." MORE IN THE NY DAILY NEWS

Horse trots into police station, becomes mane event

He wasn't the mane suspect in any of their cases and it appears that he just wanted to be a good neigh-bour. Either way, we pity the officer who was saddled with taking home this horse after it trotted into a British police station.

Quite why the nosey pony thought it was a good idea to trot into the station in the North West of England is unclear, but Superintendent Peter Cowcroft said: "At neigh point did the horse pose a risk to security and appeared to be a well cared for animal.  

FBI: Body resembles alleged 1976 family killer

The body of a John Doe who bears a "strong resemblance" to a former state department employee accused of the gruesome 1976 sledgehammer murders of his wife, mother and three sons, is being exhumed by the FBI.
Investigators believe the unidentified man who was killed by a hit and run driver in 1981 may well be William Bradford "Brad" Bishop Jr., a mainstay on the FBI's 10 Most Wanted Fugitive's list for years.
Read more at Cold Case USA