CHEESES! MAYHEM AT ILL. CHUCK E. CHEESE SNARES 6

HOW exactly does a trip to Chuck E. Cheese end in a brawl? We can certainly understand some parents snapping but but this is different. A sextet of Illinois meatheads are facing charges that left a man with a puncture wound in his chest, a $3000 arcade game flipped over and an army of puzzled kids.
According to cops, the brawl began after a dispute, nay a point of honor, was made over the use of an arcade game. Then all hell broke

WILLIE NELSON TOLD TO SING FOR THE COURT

COUNTRY legend Willie Nelson has been told he can resolve marijuana possession charges by singing: "Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain" for the court. 
Hudspeth County judge Becky Dean-Walker: "wants to meet Willie" and has specifically demanded that he appear in court instead of pleading by mail which is common procedure in such cases.
County Attorney Kit Bramblett said Nelson would also have to plead guilty and pay a fine as well as singing to the court.
He recommended the penalties for Nelson who was arrested in November at a Border Patrol checkpoint after an agent smelled an odor coming from his vehicle and decided to conduct a search. 
Nelson's spokeswoman has declined to comment on Bramblett's sentencing suggestion.

KNOXVILLE CANNIBAL GUILTY IN BLOODY BAR SLAYING

HERBERT MERRITT clearly wanted Anthony Laymond 'Tony' Ford dead. So, on a warm night in June 2008 the Knoxville man killed him at Friends Sports Bar & Grill. Merritt shot Ford six times, slashed and stabbed him and then "carved into his chest cavity, plucked out a piece of lung he thought was Ford's heart, and by his account, ate part of it."
Merritt was found guilty of first-degree murder in Knoxville but not before trying the old insanity defence. He was sentenced to life but can apply for parole after 51 years. The defence made some VERY good points on the insanity point.
“He cuts down through his chest,” lawyer Phil Lomonaco said. “What? He chews on (Ford’s lung). … Who does that? What he had that night was a psychotic episode. This guy’s a basket case.”

AMERICA'S WORST MOM OFFERED DAUGHTER, 4, FOR SEX

"DISGUSTING"

COPS are calling her crime one of the disgusting they've investigated - a "despicable" mother who offered her four-year-old daughter for sex.
Perverted parent Andrea Zisa sent a video of herself in a compromising position with the little girl to a man she met on a dating website.
Fortunately he handed it over to the FBI who in turn contacted Michigan's Macomb County Sheriff Anthony Wickersham, who busted the disgusting Detroit mother.
He said: "I'd just heard about everything in my career and then something like this comes along. It's disgusting."
The girl's father Chris Zisa who now has full custody of both their girls said: "I was in tears. I've known something was wrong and filed complaints about her with authorities but she'd laugh and say nothing ever happened.

WEALTHY GRANNY PICKPOCKET TARGETS CHINATOWN

A WEALTHY Florida senior has been on a pickpocketing rampage through New York's Chinatown because she "hates Chinese people." Ha Vasko, 67, a Vietnamese refugee told cops after she was pinched March 21--her fourth such arrest--that she is not keen on the Chinese, the New York Post reports.
"They sell fake stuff, take the money and send the money back home," Vasko told the officers.

"They get benefit cards and they don't contribute anything back. So I take their money and give it to people who need it. I give it to homeless people who need it."

FORGER TRIES FAKE SICK NOTE TO DELAY SENTENCING

WELL it was worth a try. Facing five years behind bars for forging drug prescriptions a California Woman showed up for her sentencing with a phony doctors note seeking a delay in proceedings.
Michelle Elaine Astumian had pleaded no contest in January to forgery and using a fraudulent check.
The 41-year-old who was free on a $45,000 bail arrived at the San Luis Obispo County courtroom and presented a note with a doctor's signature asking for a postponement. Prosecutor Dave Pomeroy then called the doctor, who said the note was a forgery. The judge immediately ordered Astumian into custody and she collapsed to the floor.

TEEN MOM JENELLE EVANS BUSTED FOR BRAWLING

SCRAPPER

FIGHT

TEEN Mom 2 star Jenelle Evans has been busted for fighting with another woman while pals cheered her on.
The scrap, which was recorded and posted online, caught the eye of the Brunswick County District Attorney's Office, which has now charged three people involved in the incident.
Along with Evans, Britany Truett and Brittany Maggard have been charged with disorderly conduct by fighting in a public space, a

MICHAEL JACKSON'S MANAGER MUST TESTIFY: JUDGE

"KNOWLEDGE"

MICHAEL Jackson's former business manager must testify in the trial of Dr Conrad Murray, who is accused of killing the king of pop with a drug overdose.
Defense lawyers are hoping Tohme Tohme's testimony will help them prove that the star injected himself with the drugs because of the pressure he was feeling about the 50 shows he was due to perform.
Nareg Gourjian said Jackson's "financial difficulties at the time is clearly relevant to our assertion that Mr. Jackson self-administered himself with propofol." He added that Tohme had: "intimate knowledge of his finances, drug use, his habits" and would be crucial to their defense.

SICKO'S KIDDIE PORN COLLECTION 'MIND BOGGLING'

HOLY SHIT! Did this creep do ANYTHING with his life but look at child porn? How would one even begin to sift through 176,000 images plus 5,000 vids of kiddie porn. Well, a Fairfield County, Ohio Uber Creep gave it the old college try. Cops say Richard Wood pleaded guilty to three counts of creating child pornography.
Cops started looking at the old sicko who lived next to a park in Baltimore, Ohio where investigators believe he lured young boys into his twisted web by plying them with smokes and treats. That's when they found twisted monster's library of depravity.

IS THAT A SHRIMP IN YOUR POCKET......

HE definitely wasn't happy to see the store security guard who challenged him for the fishy crime of stuffing a bag of shrimp down his pants.
So Brain McDaniel tried to fight him off, but hampered by the frozen crustaceans in his trousers was eventually subdued in the store car park in the Dover, PA township.
Cops quickly arrived to pick up the fishy shoplifter who was caught with the help of a bystander.
The guard sustained minor injuries, but it's not known if McDaniel, who is being held on bail has any injuries or frostbite. 
He is being held on $10,000 bail.  

SLAIN WIFE'S LAST WORDS: 'YOU CAN'T EVEN SHOOT'

ELAINE McCall got the last word but sometimes actions speak louder than said words. Just ask her husband David. According to cops in Wakefield, Mass. the volatile couple's miserable marriage finally came to an end Monday. The trigger? Elaine told him she would no longer cook or clean.
As the couple--Elaine is 69 and Dave is 72--fought yet again, something snapped in Dav and he got out his Glock and fired it at her. He missed. She laughed.
"You can't even shoot," she chuckled at Dave. On the second shot, he didn't miss and her body fell to the floor. He then tried to kill himself

SEX SLAVE PROBE SNARES ATLANTA DRAG QUEEN

LIFE can be a drag for a queen. Particularly when you're pinched for human trafficking. Police have arrested a popular Atlanta drag queen for his role in trafficking of a minor for sex, sexual expolitation oif a child, pandering by compulsion etc. etc. Seems Pasha Nicole--real name Christopher Thomas Lynch--and his roommate, male stripper Steven Donald Lemery, 35, (charged with similar offences plus child molestation and a litany of other nasty child sex charges) were involved in some pretty foul stuff.

"Most of the victims were runaways or easy targets," a law enforcement official told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, adding that the suspects

THREE ARRESTED IN UTAH CRUCIFIXION MURDER

COPS in Utah have arrested three people in the sickening torture murder of a disabled mother. According to detectives, Christina Harms' body was discovered tied in the shape of a crucifix in her home in Kearns. They believe Kearns, 22, was the victim of a disturbing bondage torture that led to her death. Horrifyingly, her 2-year-old child was in the home at the time of the killing. Cops have arrested Kearns’ caretaker, Cassandra Shepard, 27, Shepard’s mother Sherrie Lynn Beckering, 50, and stepfather Dale Beckering, 53 who have all been charged for domestic violence.

FAILED MATHS STUDENT TRIED TO OFF PROF

CRAP-SHOT

A MATHS student who was upset about failing has admitted that he tried to off his prof.
Upset about his grade Jason. M. Hamilton blasted two shots at professor, Tatyana Kravchuk as she took a class at Northern Virginia College.
But he clearly hadn't been paying attention in class as he got his angles all wrong.
His first shot hit a blackboard behind her and she quickly ducked under her desk, while his second hit a wall behind her.
Even he described the shots to cops as as flying "way over her head."   
His rifle malfunctioned as he prepared to pull the trigger for the third time. 
Cops found Hamilton sitting in a chair outside the classroom, where he told them: "I am the shooter," as they approached.
Prince William Police Det. Brian Cavanaugh described Hamilton as quiet

FOUL PLAY POSSIBLE IN DOC'S DISAPPEARANCE: COPS

COPS suspect foul play in the bizarre disappearance of an Indiana eye doctor.  Dr. Promila Mehta-Paul, 70, and who always told co-workers and family where she was, left her Highland office last Monday at 5 p.m. and hasn't been seen since. Surveillance footage shows her later driving away from a First Financial Bank where she made a deposit every day. Missing from her home, however, were her 2001 gold Toyota Rav4 and her son’s California license plate. Chillingly, there has been no activity on the doctor’s cell phone or credit cards since she was last seen. Cops sought Mehta-Paul’s children for questioning and initially had trouble locating one of the sons, whom she was living with before she disappeared.
Linda Grayson, an intern for the doctor said: “Nothing out of the ordinary,