GRAN, 92, BLASTS NABE WHO GAVE HER THE KISS OFF

BABE RUTH IS SO HUNKY

A FLORIDA man had a lucky escape when a row over a simple kiss almost turned deadly.  Smitten 92-year-old  Helen Staudinger became enraged when neighbour Dwight Bettner, 53, refused to give her a kiss.  So enraged, in fact, that she duly went back to her house, GOT A GUN, and allegedly started shooting into Bettner’s home.  Cops say the crazed codger initially went to talk to Bettner but then refused to leave his property without a parting smooch.  Bettner --39 years her junior--refused Staudinger’s amorous advances.  Moments later four bullets whizzed through his house, leaving the Fort McCoy man shaken.  Bettner wasn’t seriously hurt in the alleged assault – but was hit by some flying debris.  Staudinger told cops that she merely tried to “shoot his car that he loved so much.”
Bettner later informed cops that he had previously told Staudinger he was in a committed relationship with a woman.  He also alleged that on that

BRAVE (DUMB) LINDSAY LOHAN FIGHTS THEFT CHARGE

AMATEUR THESPIAN

IN what some legal insiders are calling a potentially idiotic move, the idiotic Lindsay Lohan has declared herself innocent in the theft of that necklace, and is hellbent on going to trial. Lohan met with her lawyer Shawn Holley Tuesday afternoon who  explained the onetime actress' legal options.  Yet, despite the risk of a lengthy stay in prison, Lindsay insisted on going ahead. Brave but dumb.
It's a brazen move by Li-Lo who could face up to three years behind bars on the grand larceny charge. The hard-partying Georgia Rules star (was it really four years ago?) ruled out taking a plea deal – an option that many in Tinseltown thought she’d jump at. Yet, there may be method to her madness.  Had Lohan taken the plea she would have been given probation.  Given the sometime friend of Sappho's

MOM TOLD SON IN TAPED FIGHT: 'BEAT HIM DOWN!'

OH! OH! A California mom is in hot water after a tape released on the Internet show's her encouraging her son to "beat him down" in the
shocking performance. Now, Jennifer Zuniga, 34, has been arrested and charged with child endangerment.

TWISTED TENN. KITTEN KILLER COPS TO TORTURE

NIMRODS

WELL, let's not beat around the bush: we hate these guys. Are they the worst people in the world? No, but they are trying hard. What's brought about our scorn? DFopur lunkheads from Tennessee allegedly doused a two-day-old kitten with body spray and then lit it on fire then tossed another into the air and hit it with a 2-by-4 as if it were a ball. They killed two more kittens and conveniently caught it on cellphone.
One of them, Christopher Schneider, 20, of Sevierville, pleaded guilty Tuesday to four counts of animal cruelty (he recorded the April 29, 2010 incident on the cell phone and then forwarded it to friends.)

MARRIED PA. VET MURDERED PREGNANT LOVER: COPS

A MARRIED Pennsylvania veterinarian furious over his secret lover's unexpected freaked out when he found out and killed her and the unborn child.
Cops say David Rapoport could find himself strapped to a gurney and facing ultimate justice in the slaying of Jennifer Snyder, 27, of Montgomery County and her unborn child. She was 10 to 12 weeks pregnant , according to an autopsy.
Snyder was found dead last Friday in a wooded ravine in a conservation area. She had been shot three times in the head and torso.The pair had apparently met while working at the same veterinary practise.
After the young woman disappeared, her roommate told detectives she was to spend the night with her boyfriend--Rapoport.

"Her biggest thing was wanting to save the ones that nobody else wanted, one

MANHUNT ON FOR GEORGIA COP KILLER

LINE OF DUTY

HUNTED

COPS IN Georgia are engaged in an intense manhunt for the man they believed gunned down an Athens police officer. Senior Officer Elmer 'Buddy' Christian was shot and killed during a carjacking gone awry. The triggerman has been identified as Jamie Hood, 33. He's 5-foot-9 and weights 175 lbs.

Father of two Christian was gunned down Tuesday while trying to stop a carjacking suspect. Another officer, Tony Howard, was also shot but is expected to recover
According to cops, the two veterans encountered Hood after Howard spotted and stopped a red

FEMALE SEX SICKO GETS 30 YRS. FOR MOLESTING BOY

STEVEN DEMINK

A TWISTED female pedophile has been sentenced to 30 years in jail for molesting a teenage boy and posting a sex act with the boy on the Internet. Rebecca J. Nail, 41, a food service worker from Virginia Beach pleaded guilty to the sexual exploitation of a minor. The judge denied her pleas for leniency.

Her lawyer Larry Dash told the court his client: "feels a great deal of shame, embarrassment and regret. She is extremely remorseful."

VICTIM OF CHIMP ATTACK WANTS FACE TRANSPLANT

TRAVIS AND OWNER

BEFORE AND AFTER

IT was a horror show. The world was stunned when a one-time TV star chimpanzee named Travis tore  the face off of Charla Nash of Connecticut while drunk and agitated. Now, with recent medical advances, Nash, 57, hopes to get a face transplant too, according to the Boston Herald.

“Yesterday’s news is good because more people now realize that becoming a face donor requires additional steps beyond checking off a box on your driver’s license,” said John Orr, a

BEAUTY QUEEN KILLS INTRUDER - WITH PINK PISTOL

DEADLY BEAUTY

A LEAN mean beauty queen armed with a pink pistol shot and killed a burly ex-con who broke into her house last week. 
Gorgeous Meghan Brown, a former pageant princess blasted Albert Franklin Hill after he forced his way into her Tierra Verde, Fla. home.
Grabbing the 110lb Brown around her nose and mouth, Hill, who detectives believe was trying to rob the place, dragged her to an upstairs bedroom. 
But the petite Brown struggled, waking up her fiance Robert Planthaber who quickly ran to her side.    He told Fox News: "I

THE TORTOISE AND THE FLARE

HOT AS SHELL

HE may not have escaped quickly, but his bid for freedom started a fast moving, massive blaze that wiped out a family's apartment, injuring a firefighter and three cops in the process.
Giovanni, a six-year-old African spurred Sulcata tortoise somehow managed to tip over his tank, sending it's heat lamp crashing to the floor, which in turn ignited a pile of art supplies, including paint thinner.
As the rambunctious reptile made his bid for freedom from his 18-year-old owner, Mohamed Salem's bedroom the flames rose New York fire marshals revealed.  
Within minutes, flames tore through the third-floor Brooklyn apartment that Salem, an art student at the Borough of Manhattan Community College, shared with his family.

PAWN STARS' BIG HOSS JAILED IN CALI BOOZE BINGE

BIG HOSS

PAWN Stars Corey "Big Hoss" Harrison has been busted for a barroom brawl at an exclusive California winter resort.
The drunken 27-year-old reality star lashed out at officers trying to subdue him after he got into an argument with another customer.
Staff Murray's Saloon and Eatery in Big Bear Lake about 80 miles northeast of Los Angeles, had hailed down the cops after the "violent and abusive" Hoss got into an argument with another customer.
Hoss who hit fame on the History Channel reality series set in his grandfather's Gold & Silver Las Vegas pawn shop was then held for a couple of hours to let him sober up cited and released on bail.
According the shows website, he has been working at the store since he was nine-years-old.

BUMBLING BURGLARS LEAVE A CLUE - OR 100

GENIUS

BRAINS

THEY might as well have mailed Cops their confessions, with the amount of clues they left behind.  

Because criminal masterminds these two, most certainly 'aint. 

Breaking into an Ocala, FL restaurant with his pal Gabriel Stouffer he immediately set off the alarm. 

Responding officers arrived to find a 42-inch TV sitting against the wall but no suspects to speak of. 

A quick scan of the parking lot and they found a 2003 Dodge pickup, the hood still warm, belonging to - you've guessed it - Anthony Varnum. 

If he wanted to make it anymore clear for them, he dropped his wallet on the ground nearby.

WELL THAT'S ONE PLACE TO HIDE IT.....

CLASSY

COPS have busted a woman with more than 100 items including 54 bags of heroin and some loose change- in her vagina???
Karin Mackaliunas was caught at the scene of a car crash she'd been involved in near Scranton, PA.  
Officers in nearby Dunmore suspected she may have been involved in a robbery and asked them to detain her for questioning.
During a rountine search of her coat, they found three bags of the deadly drug in her coat pocket.
But when they were taking her back to the station they noticed her fidgeting.  
After a struggle Mackaliunas, 27, asked to speak with another officer, whom she told she had "hidden

LINDSAY LOHAN'S PA BUSTED IN DOMESTIC BRAWL

THE APPLE doesn't fall far from the Lohan family tree. Not to be outdone by his daughter Lindsay Lohan, jailbird dad Michael, 50, has now been arrested over allegations he held his gal pal against her will and stopped her from calling for help. Lohan was booked by LA County Sheriffs on suspicion of  preventing report of victimization, false imprisonment and inflicting corporal injury on a cohabitant. The girlfriend's name was not released. Lohan has a history of being a dick with his girlfriends, usually harassment. Lindsay Lohan is apparently estranged from her father while uber-tanned Dina acts as enabler in chief. And while the

BRAWLING BRIDE BUSTED AT OWN WEDDING

NOT EXACTLY AS SHOWN

THE bride wore white, the cops wore blue. Poor Angela Davito. Her big day was ruined when she became disorderly at her own wedding.
According to cops, our Ange (she won't beat us up if we call her that we hope) officers responded to some kind of trouble at a home in suburban Phoenix. They were cryptically told: "people in the backyard are killing each other." And that's what cops found.
Even after they ordered the donnybrook to be discontinued folks kept on sluggin'. That's when they became aggressive towards police.
So, call more cops... and firefighters. Then, after things calmed down a bit Davito exploded and charged another party goer.
She kicked a cop. Was arrested on assault and obstructing government operations.
As for carrying the bride over the threshold? Only if it led to a jail cell.