TALK ABOUT FAKING YOUR CV! BOGUS SCHEME FOILED

WE all lie a little on our CV's, a better title here, more money there, but Randall Thomas Keyser (yes that is his real name) went way over the line.
Seeking a six figure job, he pretended to be a Major in the Army and list the chief of staff as a reference. Aiming high, but Keyser then went one step further claiming to have professional relationships with current and former U.S. defense secretaries, on his application to the Akron, OH construction company federal authorities allege in documents filed in federal court.
"It's kind of outrageous," Assistant U.S. Attorney Robert Bulford told The Akron Beacon Journal. "Anybody who served our country and sees this I think will be outraged."

MACABRE MANURE PILE MYSTERY: 'THEY'RE NOT BLACK'

GARY, Indiana cops are trying to unravel the mystery of two murder victims found in a manure pile at an area horse farm. So far, all cops know is that the victims are either white or Hispanic.

Det. Michael Barnes told the Chicago Sun-Times: “We’re not sure which, but we know for sure they’re not black." One victim was wrapped in black plastic bags while the other's hands were bound.

Cops remained tight-lipped on how the men died but said they were checking missing persons reports seeking a match to the

SEATTLE COLD CASE ARREST WAS IN THE CARDS

COLD CASE playing cards were a key factor in solving the 1979 slaying of a Seattle area woman, according to cops. Gregory D. Johnson, 57, of Seattle was arrested Friday night and charged with first-degree murder in the slaying of Susan Schwarz. Her playing card was the queen of hearts.
 Detectives busted Johnson after getting a tip from a convict who read about the case on the card. Schwarz was found shot and strangled on Oct. 22, 1979 and Johnson had been a suspect for many years.
Det. Patrick VanderWeyst said: "After 31 years, we end up finding a person that was an eyewitness to the murder. The witness was basically in fear for her life if she ever came forward with information."

ANTOINE DODSON BUSTED FOR POT POSSESSION

BUSTED! The legendary Antoine Dodson whose televised rant after the attempted rape of his sister in their Alabama housing project is now on the wrong side of the law. Dawson was pinched for marijuana possession. His rant went viral and for a time, he became a minor celeb. Now it's over.

GABRIELLE GIFFORDS CAN ATTEND SHUTTLE LAUNCH

CRAZY

GIFFORDS

GUN nut Jared Loughner's primary target Gabrielle Giffords has recovered enough from being shot in the head to watch her husband blast off into space.
Mark Kelly had feared his wife wouldn't be able to watch his shuttle launch this week because doctors feared the journey to and from the launch site would be too much for her. But the Republican congresswoman has now been given permission by her neurosurgeon to wave her husband into the skies.
Kelly told CBS: "They've given us

LONG ISLAND SERIAL KILLER MURDERED A CHILD

THE SEARCH CONTINUES

SICKENED cops have discovered that one of the 10 bodies found on the remote Long Island beach was that of child.
Forensic tests showed that the body was definitely a youngster but so far cops have nothing more to go on as they continue hunting for more bodies - some of which were dismembered.
The grisly discovery adds to the confusion for detectives who are already torn between whether

FACEBOOK POSTS SINK BANK ROBBERS: COPS 'LIKE'

DUMB

DUMBER

THERE are some things that should definitely not be posted on Facebook - especially if you've just robbed a bank. But dumb thieves Estefany Danelia Martinez, 19 and boyfriend Ricky Gonzalez just couldn't help themselves.
Two days before their Texas bank heist which netted more than $62,000 Martinez didn't think twice before posting: "Get $$$" when asked what was on her mind.    
Then the day after the robbery her 18-year-old boyfriend  Ricky Gonzalez, 18: "Wipe my teeth

TWO STABBED IN MASS. BABY SHOWER BROUHAHA

DEFINITELY not the way to welcome a new baby into the world. Two people were stabbed at what the police chief calls a "a baby shower that awry," when they were supposed to be celebrating. 
Officers responding to a report of a stabbing at the Lawrence, MA found between 50 and 100 people at the apartment.
Police Chief John Romero tells the Eagle-Tribune that the stabbing was proceeded by a fight that apparently began when someone threw a bottle that struck a woman. 

PEDOPHILE PINCHED AT MONTANA EASTER EGG HUNT

HE definitely wasn't hunting what everyone else was after. 
Convicted pedophile William Harvey Suthers was busted at an Easter Egg hunt after one of his victims recognized him.  
The 67-year-old was convicted of two counts of sexual assault on a child after a girl told police he assaulted her while he was babysitting her and her brother. She was 10 at the time. Back in 1998 he was given a suspended sentence and was forbidden from having contact with anyone under the age of 18 except his sons.
Now cops in Missoula, MT and was being held in the county jail on a probation violation.

TRANSSEXUAL BEATEN BY 2 TEEN GIRLS AT MICKEY D'S

BRUTAL. Watch as transgendered Chrissy Lee Polis is horrifically beaten by two teen girls at a McDonald's.

COPS FEAR WORST IN MYSTERY OF MISSING MAINE MOM

NEW HAMPSHIRE cops fear a young Maine mom whose car and baby girl were found abandoned in a parking lot was the victim of foul play. Krista Dittmeyer, 20, of Portland, vanished Saturday when her car was discovered with the engine running and hazard lights flashing in the Cranmore Mountain Ski area. Cops say there is no indication she left her car and 14 month-old Aliyah by choice. The baby is in good condition.
Lt. Chris Perley said:"People have asked about suicide or mental illness, but there’s nothing to indicate either of those things."

SERIAL KILLER GOES ON TRIAL IN 1968 SEX SLAYING

NOLAN RAY GEORGE is an evil man. And today he is going on trial for first-degree murder in the 1968 strangling death of a Pontiac, Michigan woman. With chilling blue eyes, George, now 67, is a serial killer who has spent little time in prison. According to the Detroit Free Press, George, of Hamilton, Ohio, is charged with first-degree premeditated murder in the 1968 death of Gwendolyn Perry, 36, a woman he met at a drugstore, plied with beer, and strangled with her own hosiery while sexually assaulting her. He was later convicted of strangling two other women and is suspected in several other killings in

HOLLY BOBO CASE: COPS MAKE SIGNIFICANT FIND

SEARCHERS looking for kidnapped Tennessee nursing student Holly Bobo have discovered a significant piece of evidence, cops says. However, they would not reveal what was found because it could harm the probe. It was based on a tip. Detectives believe the abductor--dressed in camo and dragging Bobo into the woods--lives near the pretty blonde, the cousin of country star Whitney Duncan. Cops have collected several pieces of evidence near Bobo's home, but it could be days before those objects could be analyzed and linked to the young

WANTED FOR MURDER: 'RUSSIAN RAMBO' FIRST PHOTO

"RAMBO"

THIS is the first picture of the "Russian Rambo" who allegedly brutally butchered his lover and her stepdaughter.
Cops believe former elite Russian commando, Nikolai Rakossi knifed his wife Tatyana before coldly turning on his stepdaughter, Larisa, the mother of a 3-year-old boy, Ryan, when she walked in on the bloodbath in their New York home.
Both women suffered multiple stab wounds to the face and abdomen. But by the time officers got to the scene, it's thought the calculating killer was on a flight to Moscow, where he has a home.
With no extradition between America and Russia he cannot be brought back to the States, although U.S State Department officials are continuing to negotiate for the bearded butcher to be brought

CONS JAIL VOW FOR LINDSAY LOHAN: "WELCOME TO HELL"

"WELCOME TO HELL"

FORMER actress Lindsay Lohan has been told that her prison time will be "Hell" if she eventually ends up behind bars.
It's thought that if she loses her appeal against her 120 day sentence for stealing a $2500 necklace from an exclusive LA jewelry store, she'll be sent to the Century Regional Detention Centre - the same place fellow celebutard Paris Hilton served time.
And lags in the Lynwood, CA prison have a special welcome for the Mean Girls star if she eventually arrives as an inmate.
"Welcome to Hell Lindsay," laughed one prison insider.
"Paris didn't have time to get settled in but if your here for 120 days we'll make you feel welcome. Don't you worry about that."
While no specific threats were made towards the Mean Girls star they