CHIM-CHIM CHER-OO: RANALDO JACK GETS STUCK

DICK-VAN DYKE HE AINT

CHIM-CHIMINEY chim chim cher-oo; I see a couple of years in jail for you.
Meet Ranaldo Jack, who's clearly competing for the title of 'World's Most Ineffective Thief.'   
The 17-year-old was trying to copy Santa by sneaking down the chimney, but instead of giving, he was most definitely planning to take what he could get.
Except he never made it, because he got stuck for more than 10 hours and had to be freed by firefighters, who pulled him out with a rope.
Neighbor Laura Chaparro told the Atlanta Journal Constitution she heard someone yelling for help from her neighbor's chimney.
She said: "We were talking to him, 'What are you doing down there?' He just said, 'Ah, I'm stupid."

CRAZY WIFE SORAYA BILLINGE: 'I'LL BLOW UP 10 PLANES'

EXPLOSIVE TEMPER

A FURIOUS wife threatened to 'blow up 10 planes' because she hated her husband working nights, cops say. 
None too bright Soraya Evette Billinge was allegedly furious about her husbands hours, so she called officers at the the South West Florida International Airport in Fort Myers from her cell phone.
She allegedly told officers that she didn't want her husband working late at night because she did not like being home alone. 
According to the dispatcher, Billinge became frustrated that the police could not help her with her husband's schedule, the police report said. 
But when she didn't get the help she wanted, she is accused of saying: "Okay I blow up, I blow up ten planes" before hanging up.    

WORLD'S DUMBEST ROBBER WILNELIA CARABALLO

SOMETIMES KNOWN AS BRAINS

WE'VE covered some dumb people on this site along with our fair share of drunks - but Wilenlia Caraballo had both bases covered with this crime and then some. 
Mistake number one, was thinking it would be a good idea to try and rob a Palm Bay, FL, convenience store armed with only a toy machine gun. 
Wearing a clear plastic mask, which undoubtedly would have helped to protect her identity, she walked in with what appeared to be an Uzi-style submachine gun. 
But rather than go to the back of the store where the employees were standing she went to the front counter.
This leads to mistake number two. 
Spotting her, a clerk yelled "Palm Bay police! Get on the ground!"

SUMMER MUGSHOT MADNESS! GREAT IDEA, STUPID...

DID HE ask friends? Family? Or are they all as retarded as the crook in the picture? Did someone say, 'hey, that's a great idea! It will look wicked cool...' Sorry, we just can't see it. Really hard to believe he's doing his PhD. in physics at MIT.

TEACHER DANIEL TORROLL NABBED NUDE WITH DOLL

A TWISTED TENNESSEE music teacher was marching to his own tune. Now, Daniel Torroll is going to have to face the music after he was caught performing a sex act on a doll within view of an elementary school. The 56-year-old was found naked under a bridge on school property in Spring Hill. His mambo partner was a child-like doll that had, er, holes cut into it for what purpose, we can only imagine. The erectiled educator confessed to hormone-charged

DRUNK DAD BILLY JOE MADDEN LETS BOY, 8, DRIVE CAR

TEACHING A boy to drive often falls to dad. It's just that usually they're closer to 16, not 8. Billy Joe Madden of Hattiesburg, Mississippi (where else) was hammered, according to cops, and so while he had a snooze he had his 8-year-old take over the driving while they traveled from Mississippi to Texas. He was doing the speed limit, Louisiana State Police said, adding he had to sit on the edge of his seat to reach the gas. His 4-year-old sister sat in the backseat. The child’s driving was apparently so erratic that it alarmed motorists, who called police.
His 28-year-old father--named Hattiesburg's best dad last year--was booked for child desertion and allowing a minor to drive. The vehicle was a green Chevy pick-up. Pretty dumb, huh?
DRUNK STUPID DAD ALLOWS BOY, 8, TO DRIVE

INDIANA HOOKER STEALS COP CAR AFTER COITUS

AN INDIANA WOMAN is facing a long stretch behind bars and a nomination for ‘dumbest criminal of the year’ after stealing a police car while being arrested for prostitution, cops say. Cara Ann Moynihan, 42, was ordered out of the bunk area of a parked semi after an officer responded to a call of a prostitute in the parking lot at Flying J. What were you doing in there, Cara? Moynihan was cuffed and put in the back seat of a cruiser. However, while speaking to a trucker, Moynihan squirmed into the front seat of the car and sped away.
Another officer saw the car pull into a nearby truck stop where witnesses saw a woman running with a set of handcuffs dangling from one wrist. When officers caught up with Moynihan she refused to obey their commands and

MONDAY MUGSHOT MADNESS! COKE PINCH FOR JAY

TODAY on Monday Mugshot Madness, we celebrate the great city of Tampa, Florida. Jay Johnson, left, was busted for possession of cocaine. No shit, says you. Jay does indeed appear to be flying as he poses for the police camera. On the right, we have an artistic portrait of Justin Blair King. It's called: "I Fought the Law." No, seriously he is in deep shit: Atmp - Kidnap Inflict Bodily Harm Or Terrorize Vict Or Other, Aggravated Assault. See ya' around.