DRUG MULE GRAN, FIOR DALIZA GARCIA WHEELY STUPID

WHEELY STUPID

A DRUG smuggling granny's wheely bad plan was easily smoked out by eagle eyed custom's inspectors who spotted her suspicious wheelchair.
Fior Daliza Garcia rolled off a Jet Blue flight from the Dominican Republic with both heroin and cocaine concealed in her chair.
Customs and Border Protection inspectors said she appeared nervous when they questioned her and they also noted her wheelchair appeared to be freshly painted.
Escorted into a private room her cases came up clean, but then inspectors turned their attention to the wheelchair.  
In a complaint filed at Brooklyn Federal Court, Special Agent Edward Romero "During the subsequent search CBP officers lifted the wheelchair and noticed it was unusually heavy and flimsy."
According to the Daily News they then found the stash in the body of the wheelchair.
Garcia, a grandmother from Boston allegedly then confessed she was going to be paid $12,000 for smuggling the drugs.

CHIM-CHIM CHER-OO: RANALDO JACK GETS STUCK

DICK-VAN DYKE HE AINT

CHIM-CHIMINEY chim chim cher-oo; I see a couple of years in jail for you.
Meet Ranaldo Jack, who's clearly competing for the title of 'World's Most Ineffective Thief.'   
The 17-year-old was trying to copy Santa by sneaking down the chimney, but instead of giving, he was most definitely planning to take what he could get.
Except he never made it, because he got stuck for more than 10 hours and had to be freed by firefighters, who pulled him out with a rope.
Neighbor Laura Chaparro told the Atlanta Journal Constitution she heard someone yelling for help from her neighbor's chimney.
She said: "We were talking to him, 'What are you doing down there?' He just said, 'Ah, I'm stupid."

CRAZY WIFE SORAYA BILLINGE: 'I'LL BLOW UP 10 PLANES'

EXPLOSIVE TEMPER

A FURIOUS wife threatened to 'blow up 10 planes' because she hated her husband working nights, cops say. 
None too bright Soraya Evette Billinge was allegedly furious about her husbands hours, so she called officers at the the South West Florida International Airport in Fort Myers from her cell phone.
She allegedly told officers that she didn't want her husband working late at night because she did not like being home alone. 
According to the dispatcher, Billinge became frustrated that the police could not help her with her husband's schedule, the police report said. 
But when she didn't get the help she wanted, she is accused of saying: "Okay I blow up, I blow up ten planes" before hanging up.    

DEAR STUPID: RIDES OUTSIDE SUBWAY IN SHOCK VIDEO

STUPIDITY in our times. Nothing really phases New Yorkers but the sight of a man riding outside the J Train sure did. Exactly what kind of idiot rides outside a subway train? The kind in the video.

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